Software
- taylor - your average coder
- john - your average coder who has an amazing ability to exaggerate and express ideas
- karson - the next bill gates, he is working on an OS than runs on Windows, which is a paradox but w\e
- jason - Evil scientist that will create a virus that will bypass all anti-virus security programs
- nathan - APCS classmate. Good with graphics, not so good with programming logic.
- andrew h - APCS classmate
- batch(short for batchelder) - APCS classmate that has a runny mouth
- victor - myself, interchangably used with 'me'. That wasn't redundant at all.
- aviv - decent programmer, APCS classmate
- pranil - APCS classmate
- zane - APCS classmate
- sant - APCS classmate frequently made fun of for aspiring to go to harvard
- matt leeds - Just about as nerdy as someone on software.
- alex - mechanical lead, slacker crack-head appearance, but very smart. Perhaps the weed gives him vision.
- john - MIT Student helping us out probably for a class at MIT. Specializes in mechanical.
- erich - average mechanical guy
- rick - software
- dave - software
- campion - APCS teacher
- mrs. bent - AP program coordinator
john n: nathan's here, quick, hide the laptop
taylor: (removes flashdrive with autonomous code on it) just making sure you don't edit it
john n: that's like saying you could make a baby in a month with nine women.
andrew b: on november 16th, you told me to shut up.
mr. campion: i tell you that almost daily.
matt leeds: I suppose we'll have to cut the wire to the c-rio*.
john n: is that an applet?
batch: yes
john n: applets suck
andrew h: then use guis
john n: guis suck as well
jason: go back to your assembly programming then
after negotiating placement of the camera on the robot
brian messes around with roller things
john m: What the titty-fucking thing are you doing?
victor soft laughs
alex: You made victor giggle. software guys laughs at how we talk.
john: Yeah it fucking works differently down here in mechanical.
alex: yeah, us machinists are dirty.
me: jason, some people can text without looking at their keyboard, even a numberpad one
jason: yeah i know. i can eat a hamburger, drink soda and text at the same time
me: why would you eat a hamburger and drink soda at the same time?
jason y: why wouldn't you eat a hamburger and drink soda at the same time?
(trying to plug an ethernet cable to an ethernet port)
karson: it doesn't fit
john: so the output is victor*** luu
victor: (turns head)ORLY now?
john: yes, Victor luu = new Victor();
return luu;
john: i have an half-eaten-by termites keyboard.
me: termites?
john: yes, apparently they were plastic eating termites. now they will have enlarged breasts because powerdered plastic is very chemically similar to estrogen.
rick: where are you headed?
john: out to kidnap dillon to get the win-river** install discs
john comes back an hour later
victor: did you kidnap dillon?
john: no, he ran and my taser was in your pocket. i blame you
victor notes that the installation referenced install size and disk in kilobytes
victor: why don't they reference memory in megabytes?
dave: this was made in the 80s, i don't think they had megabytes back then.
karson: i need a lead
victor: you must high, why would you want nathan here?
karson: its an electrical term.
karson: i still haven't gotten back from campion. its only been five minutes since i emailed him.
karson: crap, i forgot to title the email. please don't put that on the software fail list.
victor: that's not so much a software fail as a life fail.
victor: I've calculated the average time it takes for a software quote to come up. At 7:49, I found the average time between quotations to be 12.85714. It is 8:02 and karson had just said the above.
victor: you know campion thinks that if you can create an OS, you shouldn't be in his class.
karson: its not an OS, its a graphics kernell. actually, its not a kernell, its an OS that runs on windows. actually its not even an OS, its just an applet.
john: lets name the robot in binary
alex: So lets say we win nationals. the announcer will be "and the winning team is: team 151 from nashua new hampshire with Robot -"
john: 01010100010110010101001111001001010
john: lets name the robot "fatal exception."
erich: no, we're naming it "drop it like it's hot."
john: first is a place where i really don't want to see most of the people "drop it like it's hot."
random mech: how about safety first?
erich: thats the equivalent or "sucking up to the judges".
john: we're deciding whether to name the robot nullpointerexception or fatalexception.
victor: but our robot can't be thrown
john: sure we can, we can either do, this.throw() or walk onto the playing field and throw it manually.
victor demonstrates objectdock http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6xc_k9I0ss
taylor: is it free?
victor: i torrented it, so it was free.
john: I only torrent for e-books.
victor: I only torrent for programs. And music. And movies. And music videos.
victor laughs at some of the software fails
john: seriously victor, you only have two expressions: laughing hysterically, or being completely monotone. You need medical help.
campion: So you would get the arraylist size through super.size(). So you go to burger king and say super.size() me;
class: ha ha ha....
campion: If you get it wrong, I slap you in the face, if you get it right, you get a high-five
nathan: After you get it right, it makes sense.
jason: it should make sense before you get it right
sean: when mrs. bent gets in here, we should put andrew in the closet
campion: if that happens, you'll go in there with him.
john: why doesn't aviv talk to us anymore?
aviv: *silent*
batch: I think the question answers itself.
jason: How can a question answer itself? You suck.
john: why doesn't aviv talk to us anymore?
aviv: points at batch I am repulsed from this side of the room.
me: louise used 10 equations for her heart
jason: she would have 100 equations if she could, but the calculator only fit 10
john: I bet that the heart would burst if that happened.
jason: samita turns in her papers with $50 bills attached and begs on her knees for an A. She should get knee pads.
aviv: what do you mean it isn't defined? This thing is stupid.
john: well, why don't you go sneak into an alley and service it like a cheap copper-piece harlot?
andrew: . . . what the hell are you talking about?!
john: I think I may have just called you a whore. not sure.
mrs. bent: do you know how much a semester of a course costs?
campion: $30?
mrs. bent: $393
(after easy daily question)
campion checks sants answer
campion: you got it wrong
aviv: sant, just jump off a cliff
someone remotely controls campions computer
jason: un-plug your ethernet cable
aviv: john, shut down all other computers in the school except this one.
nathan: i'm pretty sure everyone here uses computers a lot
batch: nah, what's this computer you speak of? its pen and paper for me
nathan presents loading bars
batch: i suppose ill use that in all my programs to enhance user interface
aviv: yes, thread.sleep(1000);
sant: why doesn't double buffering work for AWT?
aviv: that's the default, go complain to sun.
batch: yeah, complain to yourself
jason: he meant sun as in java sun
aviv presents double buffering
campion: this is very important when you make video games and when you need to fall asleep at night
sant: i can't run my program on this computer because i have JDK 1.6.12 but you have JDK 1.5
john: just like last time?
glenn: I swear, he has gremlins in his computer
campion: andrew, louder. wait, i can't believe i just said that to him
batch: have i just been anti-RAMed?
pranil does presentation with sports players based on sports input
campion: who's paul pierce?
pranil: really? he plays basketball?
campion: that's not a real sport
pranil: how about babe ruth then?
campion: doesn't he do ballet?
zane: Its a new rick roll! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZcqV7pLC0A
batch: I had a nightmare last night: my computer downloaded vista onto itself.
aviv: The easiest way to become valedictorian is to assassinate the top 10. Just give them mono.
* = Essentially the CPU and RAM of the robot.
** = The IDE used to transfer code onto the robot's C-Rio.
*** = A speed controller for the motors
Code Fragments from Software Freshmen
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