Don't take this seriously.
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Hello. If you are one of the unfortunate few who do not know me, my name is Serguei Balanovich, and I will be running to be your Senior Class Vice President. A day or two ago, I was sitting at my desk, thinking about why I’m running. There are many reasons for this, like my passionate desire to contribute to my community, a long-term interest in serving my fellow classmates, and a transcendental calling to lead and impact my school. But above all these, lies one overarching purpose.
I want to get into college. It would be a mad nice boost for my extracurricular activities. It would polish my application, adding the finishing touch to my 6.0 GPA and my 2420 SAT. It would fabricate my dedication, work ethic and leadership abilities. It would redeem my 799.99 in SAT physics. In essence, it would make me look better than I actually am.
As you leave the auditorium today, leave with a clear purpose for this election. Do NOT vote for the candidate who you want to hear in your morning announcements, the candidate who will fundraise for your senior prom, or the candidate who will organize your class reunions. Vote for me, Serguei Balanovich, so that I can get into Harvard. Thank you for being in my presence. You may now continue your mundane, pedestrian life.
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This was written by me, Victor Luu, as a joke to express my usual cynicism towards elections and leadership positions.
