One Day, Downloadable RAM will Proliferate

Essay Exchange

2011-06-26T18:36:00.000-04:00

Sal Speech

2011-06-23T22:07:00.000-04:00

A speech that Nashua North made me write/deliver:

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Good evening ladies and gentlemen, members of the faculty and administration, members of the school board, distinguished guests, family, friends, and fellow graduates. I’m honored to have this opportunity to speak today. However, I’ve wondered why I’m even addressing this community. I don’t exactly have training in inspirational or even public speaking, so just take these words as they are: the moody confused ramblings of a young, naïve teenager.

I hate high school. Or rather, I hate very specific things about high school. Waking up in the morning is dreadful. I hate that the senior parking lot is too far away from the main entrance, and that the junior parking lot has too many juniors in it. Walking from D3 to the cafeteria is just tiring. And lastly, only one third of our water fountains actually work. Nevertheless, I will always have a good memory of these past four years.

This is because high school is not defined by things that annoy you, or restrict your freedom. It is made up of the people you’ve met, the times you’ve shared, and the things you’ve accomplished. When we look back on our time here, we won’t remember nuisances writing endless essays, enduring countless hours of classes, or trying to find chairs in the cafeteria. We’ll remember experiences like joining a new club, qualifying for All-states, attending school dances or winning sports games.

All of this led me to one simple idea; learning isn’t restricted to the classroom environment. In fact, as most of us have found out this past month, you often don’t learn anything in the classroom. We are all still at an early point in our lives, with much to experience and encounter. When we expand our horizons, life suddenly becomes brighter, full of promise and hope. Each instance can be viewed as an opportunity to learn, to mature, or to just have fun.

For example, I hate waking up in the morning, but that teaches me discipline. I hate the two parking lots, but they teach me patience and tolerance. I hate walking across the school, but that gives me time to talk with my friends.

However, learning becomes meaningless if it isn’t used. We need to take these lessons from our past, and apply them to how we act today. Personally, I’ve learned not to pull fire alarms in the middle of snowstorms and not to bring grenades to school.

Anyways, we can probably gain the most from our relationships, especially those with teachers and faculty. They’ve made unmistakable footprints in our lives, as we go out today to make our own footprints on the world. I’d like to spend some time now to thank the people who have inspired me and put me where I am today, literally.

I'd like to thank Mrs. Miller and Mrs. Kimball for helping me evolve from a nerdy boy who liked math, to a nerdy boy who loves math.

I'd like to thank Coach Burns, for basically forcing me to go outside more.

I'd like to thank Mrs. Coleman, for teaching me how to write real good, and Mr. Freeman for teaching me to write real smart.

I'd like to thank my track team, especially Muite, Jahmar and Dre, for showing me the importance of teamwork.

And lastly, I’d like to thank all of you for waiting patiently for me to finish. Today is a day of celebration, so let us can learn from the past, enjoy the present, and look towards the future. There’s no need to hold grudges or be bitter, because each day overflows with opportunity to grow and explore. As important as high school is, it is these years to come that hold the most possibility and promise. So, let’s lighten up and soak up the sun. Congratulations and best of luck North Class of 2011.

High School Drops Out

2011-06-04T11:42:00.008-04:00

Apparently, many of us seniors have been assigned an in class essay about the high school drop-out age. I never got the chance to write this essay, because my English teacher is a push-over.

I was walking to my car once school got out, and noticed a few sheets of notebook paper on the ground. Worried that the wind might displace them, I ran over, picked them up and headed towards the nearest garbage can. But I stopped. These sheets of paper seemed to have been written on. Curious, I sat down, turned on my iPod, and started reading.
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I absolutely LOVE spending money. Spending money is an important thing part of who I am; it gives me food to eat, water to drink, clothes to wear, and make-up. However, spending money appeals to me on a deeper level. It provides me with self-worth, as I really am nothing more than what I have.

Because of this, I believe that leaving the drop-out rate at eighteen years of age is smart and admirable. We need to keep people in school for as long as we possibly can, because Nashua North is the only place where we can grow and become who we want to be. I mean, I guess it costs more money to hire teachers to provide for these students, and I guess they might be stressed out if these students are a little bit uncooperative, but who cares? It’s worth the investment. It tells families across Nashua, and around our region, that Nashua North is the best, and that we care the most about our students.

My final point is that I think our Nashua spending should be more like the federal spending. When in Rome, do as the Romans do, so when in Nashua, do as the Washington DC does. A few days ago, I heard that our federal government is actually in a deficit thing, meaning that we spend a lot of money. This is AWESOME! Likewise, I think Nashua should spend more, and spend more on our education, because you should put your money where your mouth is.

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I love McDonalds. Every day, after track practice, I run to my car, usually faster than I run my track workouts. Hard work, persistence? That doesn’t matter. My car scrambles towards that yellow double arch, because I just want that quarter pounder with cheese.

I usually order five quarter pounders meals at a time. Yesterday, there was a new cashier there, and she gave me a weird look, but whatever. No big deal, she was pretty cute. Anyways, I took my food, and ate through about four of those meals. After I had thrown some of my trash away, I noticed a sticky note attached to the sandwich box, that said, “Fat ass”.

I can’t believe it. How could anyone say such a thing to me? Please, please lower the drop out rate. When I go to McDonalds, I want to be greeted by people who are giving me food, not giving me sass. Listen, if we lower the drop out age, more teenagers will be available to work. With more teens wanting to work, the demand for jobs might exceed the supply of jobs. People who currently hold jobs will work harder to keep them. So, when I go into McDonalds, I will be showered with respect and admiration, as I deserve. If I am not, I can ask my dad to sue the company and have everyone fired. Please lower the drop-out age, because I love McDonalds, and don’t want that to change.

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Utterly disgusted that I had squandered five minutes of my life reading these pieces of paper, I laid down and just took a nap.
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Pre-Write (What I wrote, before I started this):
So I’m sitting around, on a Saturday morning, just desperately wanting to be able to write this post in a manner that others will understand. It is actually based around an AP English Language and Composition prompt that I found particularly interesting. Those essays were successful because of their intense sarcasm and exaggeration, two things that I like to do in regular conversation, but don’t do much in writing. Anyways, here goes:

Serguei's Speech

2011-05-21T20:26:00.003-04:00

Don't take this seriously.

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Hello. If you are one of the unfortunate few who do not know me, my name is Serguei Balanovich, and I will be running to be your Senior Class Vice President. A day or two ago, I was sitting at my desk, thinking about why I’m running. There are many reasons for this, like my passionate desire to contribute to my community, a long-term interest in serving my fellow classmates, and a transcendental calling to lead and impact my school. But above all these, lies one overarching purpose.

I want to get into college. It would be a mad nice boost for my extracurricular activities. It would polish my application, adding the finishing touch to my 6.0 GPA and my 2420 SAT. It would fabricate my dedication, work ethic and leadership abilities. It would redeem my 799.99 in SAT physics. In essence, it would make me look better than I actually am.

As you leave the auditorium today, leave with a clear purpose for this election. Do NOT vote for the candidate who you want to hear in your morning announcements, the candidate who will fundraise for your senior prom, or the candidate who will organize your class reunions. Vote for me, Serguei Balanovich, so that I can get into Harvard. Thank you for being in my presence. You may now continue your mundane, pedestrian life.

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This was written by me, Victor Luu, as a joke to express my usual cynicism towards elections and leadership positions.

Baptismony

2011-03-20T16:21:00.008-04:00

To update this blog, I figured it'd be worth posting my baptism testimony. This is my original version, almost twice as long as the one I actually read. I figured that most people would tldr after 100 words, so it wouldn't change much to post the longer one. Hope you enjoy anyways
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I was in hysterics. I was 12-years old and my parents were peacefully driving down to Chinatown. All I cared about was the paper in front of me; I couldn’t believe what it said. Its meaning was awful, and I couldn’t bear to look at it anymore. Tears welled up in my eyes, but I kept staring at the paper, hoping that it would say something else. Soon, I had to face the harsh reality; I didn’t get a 700 on my SAT math score.

This is the way that I once lived and, to some extent, the way that I still live now. It’s a hideous scene once you look deeper. On the outside, people may see me as a studious boy with a big head, a work ethic, and an unhealthy interest in math. However, situations like this truly highlight what my life was like. On the inside, my attitude was not simply striving for excellence, or seeking to do well. It was a near obsession with my academic performance, my accomplishments, and my sense of perfection.

I’ve grown up in a Christian family and we’ve always been involved in the church somehow. But Christianity was something that was marginalized in my life, whether I truly realized it or not. Yes, I attended church weekly, but I never felt committed to Christ. I never understood what it meant to be a Christian. Yes, I had my experiences at retreats or conferences that brought me closer to Christ, but those emotions soon faded away. I put my faith in the back seat, as I had more “worthwhile” things.

This couldn’t be a problem. It was how I lived the past sixteen years of my life, and I saw no reason to change it. In fact, this brought me a lot of distinction and approval among my friends, my peers, my family and other adults. Soon, I realized how useful this mindset was. I joined track in eighth grade and at the end of sophomore year, I got my Varsity Letter. Around that time, I qualified for the AIME, a mathematics test only given the top 1% of math students nation-wide. Life was good.

Around this time, my atheist friends started influencing me. Many of them were smart, accomplished students and could articulate their thoughts well. They told me seemingly inconsistent facts about Christianity. For example, how could a loving God send people to hell? How could he condone slavery and rape? Furthermore, I realized that these friends were perfectly fine without a God. They didn’t need to go to church weekly, yet they were able to achieve just as much, if not more than what I had. As time passed and as I filled my head with atheist philosophy, my faith felt unfounded and unnecessary. Christianity seemed to be a lot of wishful thinking. How could I believe in something that left no scientific evidence? Why did I need this crutch? I ended my sophomore year at the top of my class. Surely I didn’t need a God. I relinquished my theistic beliefs, deciding that there were no logical reasons to keep them.

What drove me was the illusion that I could be spiritually independent. Junior year might be the hardest year of high school, even though I’m sure most seniors strongly disagree with that, but I was able to pull through it, with marks that I was satisfied with. And, frankly, without that God to pray to, I didn’t see any changes in my life. I didn’t suddenly become corrupt or evil. I was nice to my friends and respectful to my family. I didn’t lie, I didn’t cheat, and I didn’t get caught murdering anyone. It was simply a change in attitude; a change that stimulated me to do more, achieve more and to strive for more excellence. My prior faith seemed like something that inhibited my progress, and now that it was gone, I could reach my full potential.

For most of high school, I spent time after school practicing for track. My junior season was coming up and I wanted to perform well. If I had a good season, I might even get noticed by colleges. I had high goals set and felt that my efforts would give me the ability to achieve them. Unexpectedly, I strained my hamstring during that time and was out for the entire season.

This was a catalyst for my return to Christ. Though it certainly wasn’t first failure, it was one of the first areas where I had no control over the situation. I couldn’t look towards myself to solve my problems. Despite all my efforts and preparations, I simply couldn’t accomplish what I set out to do. This was deeply upsetting and very humbling. I turned this experience towards other occurrences in my life. At the time, many of my senior friends were being rejected from elite colleges that I felt they were qualified for. Also, my dad was unemployed despite his long hours of studying and resume-building. I was bound to encounter these challenges eventually, and it seemed silly that I still believed that I could solve everything.

As God intervened in my life, I felt that my fundamental reasons against him were still abstract and theoretical. I began to read more Christian literature and sought to learn more. In Sunday schools during my junior year and even still now, I learned that Christianity is a real and objective truth. It’s not just built on heart-warming testimonies or Sunday-night spiritual highs. It’s concrete and reliable. I learned how to address the problem of evil, I learned how evolution coexists with and complements creation, I learned how the objective foundations of morality point towards a higher being, and I learned how the Big Bang Theory actually provides more evidence for the existence of God than against it.

I couldn’t counter these arguments. These were very reasonable arguments presented by very intelligent people, like C.S. Lewis and Francis Collins. I can’t say it was a revelation, but I began to realize the necessity of Christian faith. God, and not my intellect, was the only thing I could turn to as my source of strength and identity. It was the only logical choice.

This senior year has been a period of intense spiritual growth, especially with the difficult college begging process and the escalated stresses of high school. Spiritually, I’ve continued to learn more about Christ. In fact, only by opening my prior beliefs to peer criticism and honest opposition was I able to approach some semblance of truth. Through this process, Christ provided a way to reconcile my intelligence with my faith, and I’ve been able to develop a more intimate relationship with him.

I don’t expect my baptism here to be an end all to my walk in Christ. I expect it difficulties to come. But, I’ve decided that He is worth it and that I should pick up my cross and follow him.

In Defense of Reason

2010-10-08T19:44:00.004-04:00

I suppose I have to be politically correct...
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Let's say you have four people, a fifteen-year old teenager, an infant, a toddler, and a twenty five-year old man. Now let's say that you are asked to state who the strongest person in this group of four is, based only on the three following conditions.

The teenager is stronger than the toddler.
The toddler is stronger than the infant.
The man is stronger than the infant.

Is it possible to state who the strongest person is? Clearly, the toddler and the infant are the weakest, as they are both dominated by the teenager. But can we differentiate between the man and the teenager? If the man was strongest and the teenager second strongest, the three conditions hold true. If the teenager was the strongest and the man was second strongest, even third strongest, the three conditions still hold true. Therefore, there is not enough evidence show who is the strongest.

Consider the following argument:

The teenager is definitively stronger than two people, the toddler, and the infant. On the other hand, the man is definitively stronger than than one person, the infant only. Because the teenager is stronger than two, whereas the man is only stronger than one, the teenager has to be the strongest.

What kind of logic is this? This is the explanation that my AP Chemistry teacher provided when explaining the solution to this problem. In context, the problem asked us to compare the activity level of four elements, set-up with those conditions.

Now, occasionally, a subject/field can be very frustrating due to a minor topic. For example, memorizing the derivatives and integrals of inverse trigonometry functions in calculus wasn't particularly fun. However, seeing this type of problem-solving in chemistry is downright offensive. It seems that because there is not enough evidence to empirically solve this problem, some bogus explanation that follows no axiom of logic or critical thinking has to be created.

I truly hope that this explanation was simply an abstraction of the truth. I can accept getting a problem wrong, but I can't accept a problem that does not reward sound, empirical reasoning.

how has the start of your school year gone so far? What is your favorite/least favorite class and why?

2010-09-02T20:52:00.001-04:00

The school year has gone by well.

My favorite thing is the amount of independent learning I get to do this year. This semester, I have the first two blocks open to study AP Biology and calculus-based physics. Basically, I don't technically have to be at school until 10:32.

Least favorite? Not seeing any more of the seniors, or upperclassmen... I got to know a few of them very well during high school and its unfortunate to see them go.

Ask me anything

Remaining Summer Plans?

2010-08-04T19:11:00.004-04:00

I was thinking of posting something about my St. Paul's experience on my blog. But then I shuddered at the thought of uploading something so personal. In writing workshop, I learned using proper mechanics, complex vocabulary and eloquent sentences detracts the reader from the "candor" of your writing, especially personal essays. In order to write effectively, you must impress your personality upon the reader. Unfortunately, I have no personality, and often enjoy rhetorical flourishes, so I'm not going to write any personal essays for a while.

Nevertheless, I will touch upon some ASP stuff while writing. During my time there, I met a lot of great people, and my thirty-eight days were filled with activities with them, whether it was studying game theory, playing ultimate frisbee, eating a lot of food or talking late into the night. This was in stark contrast to how I'd spend my days normally. I simply needed alone time. I found that playing piano in the chapel or in the musical hall was a relaxing way to spend time by myself. I would often visit two or three times a week, staying there for at least an hour each time.

Piano brought me a lot during St. Pauls. I played "A Thousand Miles" in a serenade, one of the ASP traditions where one dormitory sings a few songs to another dormitory of the opposite sex. I played "Sunflowers" in first talent show, and dedicated "La Fille Aux Cheveux" to a girl in the second show. That piece was interrupted by one of my friends in our act: Three Asians showing off their piano expertise.

As the final days of St. Pauls crept closer, I wanted to keep all my experiences with me. Facebook, and facebook pictures helped me to maintain some discourse with friends. But the music was missing. Therefore, I made plans to continue learning classical music.

For the rest of my summer, and during the early part of my school year, I'm planning to learn these pieces:

This was arguably the most famous of Debussy's piano pieces. I enjoyed playing La Fille, so I wanted to continue with a similar style.

I swear that I would learn this piece before ending piano lessons. Now I swear to learn this before graduating.

Expression

2010-07-04T11:32:00.002-04:00

A week or so after I wrote this, I realized that it was a pretty crappy piece of writing. But I didn't have much time to work on it... I guess I'll leave it up anyways.
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Time signatures and musical notes are like the architecture or design of a train. The instrument that delivers the music is like the head of the train. But most importantly are the dynamics. They are the caboose of the train, making the whole experience interesting. In music, dynamics range from “as soft as can be played”, pianississimo, to “as loud as can be played”, fortissimo. The idea behind playing a piece of music is that a range of dynamics is chosen that can best represent the music. Playing fortissimo for a majority of the sound hinders the music when volume must be built up later. The same follows true for playing pianississimo. Generally, one should save extremes for critical moments in a piece of music, like the ending, for example.

Most are familiar with the mantra, “Practice makes perfect”. When dealing with piano music, however, experimentation is necessary. You must take the piano out to clubs from time and time, and experience the soothing stream of a screwdriver. You must understand how your inhabitations are lowered as it gently guides you back to its home. Only then can you understand your relationship with it.

While that was just an awful attempt at sarcasm, it holds truth. In order to play a piano effectively, like in a concert setting, you have to fully aware of its range of expression: what soft sounds like, what loud sounds like, how sensitive the three pedals are, etc. To be efficient in this process, the pianist often focuses on specific music sections that require heavy usage of such aforementioned techniques. After all, he is still tormented with the fear of being the target of thrown tomatoes and various vegetables. He must make haste.

Now what happens when we apply this concept to life? Actions and words are as expressive as music. However, are we aware of the extremes of behavior? There is no objective way to gauge such a shady issue. Unfortunately, this ignorance is often exploited.

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Now, the pre-writing:

So here I am on a Sunday morning at St. Paul’s, simply enjoying the time that I don’t have to spend dealing with other people. Yes it sounds anti-social, but this past week has been fast-paced and hectic, leaving little time for self, and self-reflection. I decided to write something that may appear unrelated to my explicit feelings, but actually share some parallels with them. It is going to feel abstract both writing and reading it. I also rushed through it, so don't expect it to be fully coherent.

Life and Death

2010-06-21T20:26:00.001-04:00

Sixteen is a liberating number. In cities across the country, it is the youngest age at which you can test for a driver’s license. Being able to drive holds great implications. Providing for your own transportation introduces a sense of independence and freedom. With this comes a time-consuming education period. During my hours of driving, I came to understand the transience of life and the abruptness of death.

Learning to drive was a long process. When I began driving, the car moved erratically; it paid no attention to my actions behind the wheel. A tap on the brake would result in a lurch forward; a tap on the accelerator would result in a lurch back; a turn of the steering wheel would result in a lurch to the side. With more time and more experience, however, these problems lessened. Abrupt brakings became smoother; wider turns became more precise. As I grew more comfortable with the car, my zones of driving widened. Parking lots led to neighborhood streets. Neighborhood streets advanced to interstate highways.

A new perspective of the world resulted from being in driver’s seat. After all, it was a different experience. For teenagers in general, a significant portion of their childhood lives were spent in the passenger seats, simply observing the world pass by. These numerous hours can be interpreted differently. Many view it as the time necessary for transportation. Some perceive it as time to relax, start a conversation or enjoy the scenery. Others perceive it as a waste of time and bring work to do on the ride. Despite the differences, these various interpretations all share the element of passive waiting. Their actions have little influence on the driving. However, driving itself requires the element of active control.

This element brought about the discoveries I made about life and death. It was a typical Thursday afternoon, and I was driving back home. This was a routine path: travel down Broad Street to Interstate 3, cruise south on the freeway to Exit Four, head north-east for Downtown Nashua and turn right towards my neighborhood. While on the highway, my prior experience took control, reminding me to maintain my speed, keep my distance and stay alert. This went smoothly, until I steered the car towards the exit ramp. In my peripheral vision was a frightening sight. The carcass of a small squirrel was on the side of the road.

Road kill is not a foreign sight. In fact, I have seen more of it in recent days, possibly from the city government’s lack of funds to clean the streets. Usually, road kill rarely evokes strong emotion from me despite its graphic nature. After all, it’s simply natural selection in action. One view speculates that hunger had motivated the squirrel to venture out of its original habitat to in hopes of finding sustenance. However, it did not consider the traffic of the road. Its life was quickly ended and the squirrel gene pool became slightly smaller. Another view considers the incident as conflict between man and squirrel. The squirrel’s small delicate body is unable to compete with the man’s intellectual capacity. The outside world, shaped by man’s willpower and intellect, is too dangerous for the squirrel to understand.

However, the contrasts present in this scene immediately struck me. The human mind is constantly analyzing the world around. This can be applied to the details of the car trip. For example, the mind handles time management, selecting appropriate routes and estimating arrival times. It absorbs sensory details, seeing the light from the rear-view windows and listening to the rev of the engine. It manages physical coordination, rotating the steering wheel or depressing the gas pedals. These aspects, and many others, merge to compose the entire experience of driving. On the other hand, the squirrel follows its basic animal instincts, searching for necessities like food, water and shelter. My effort was put into driving carefully. The squirrel’s effort led to its abrupt death.

Insights can be drawn when considering this incident at a larger scale. Any observer may look upon the squirrel and notice its powerlessness. Its lack of intellect makes it appear insignificant and disposable. Yet its death brings the existence of a higher life force into question. Does this force view human life as insignificant, just as we view the squirrel as insignificant? Are we humans merely squirrels on the side of the highway? We may be living under a deluded sense of control of our own lives. Flash floods in Ohio and France, earthquakes in South America and Indonesia, tornados in Mid-West America and other natural disasters cause heavy casualties. The squirrel’s life was extinguished at the hands of nature and the unpredictability of life. One day, ours will be too.

I continued driving on the high way ramp, and merged back into local traffic. The remainder of the trip followed the daily routine. However, I now saw the climactic moment of getting my driver’s license in a different light. Yes, it introduces more independence. Yes, it grants more control. But do these matter in the long run? I can do everything humanely possible to work for my future. Yet I rest in the providence of a higher force.
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This was another essay in my AP English Final Portfolio. I enjoyed writing it, so I decided to upload it.

This I Believe: Teamwork

2010-06-21T20:22:00.003-04:00

“FIRST is the only varsity ‘sport’ in which all participants can actually turn pro”. This quote by Francois Castaing became a popular description of the FIRST robotics program. In fact, this program has made an impact on many high school students by attracting them with real world experience and challenging them with a complex assignment. But most significantly, it teaches the importance of teamwork. During my second year in the FIRST robotics program at Nashua High Schools, I came to understand this.

This past year, I was assigned to write software, or a set of instructions that the robot follows, for a camera. This would be used to establish a video stream between the robot and the drivers. After reviewing documentation, I began work, placing my initial code within the primary file to test the camera’s functionality. Soon, however, I began adding more instructions, like driving forward. Because the code made sense to me, I did not leave notes explaining my work. What initially was a simple comment turned into hundreds of lines of indecipherable code.

This proved troublesome for the rest of the team. In order to perform their own testing, other programmers had to sift through the tangled mess I left behind. Also, the adult advisors had to read each line of my code to understand my overall intention. Imagine a hotel. After entering its lobby, I decided that it was too warm, so I took off my sweatshirt and left it on the floor. The following day, I realized that my backpack was heavy, so I took it off and threw it onto a chair. This process continued until many of my belongings were in the lobby, rather than in my designated room. “After all”, I thought, “It’s more convenient for me”. This inevitably resulted in frustration among the other patrons of the hotel. Likewise, my code strewn recklessly in the primary file disrupted the rest of the team.

Through this experience, I learned the value of teamwork. My prior experience and a classic approach to software both told me that centralizing code is most efficient. This implies that functionality is valued over readability. The folly of this mindset was illustrated by Randall Munroe’s comic of a mathematician’s analysis of love. After a series of failed attempts involving algebra and trigonometry, he exclaims, “My normal approach is useless here.” Like love, working in a team is based on more than raw technical analysis. It involves consideration of others’ interests. Therefore, writing code for my personal convenience inconveniences the team.

Eventually, I realized this mistake. I moved my code to a separate file, so other programmers could test in the primary file while still having access to my work. In general, my original design was modified to connect with those of others, opening up lines of communications between sections of code. This past year’s experiences taught me the importance of teamwork. When I “turn pro” after college, I will keep this lesson close to my heart.
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This was one of the essays included in my AP English Final Portfolio. Today, I submitted it to the "This I Believe" essay contest. I enjoyed writing it so I decided to upload it.

Motivation

2010-04-26T22:47:00.002-04:00

An Attempt to update my blog:
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"Self direction is essential for social success." This quote of my own (how pompous) describes how the importance of having a sense of movement and flow one's life. As a student, this means preparing for college or finding work after high school. As an athlete, this usually means predicting difficulties in future competitions and conditioning to overcome them. No matter what state of existence you are in, having a strong sense of direction gives you an outline for future action. This is inherently good.

Problems occur when your sense of direction negatively influences your motivation.
For example, a person so immersed in getting good grades for college may only motivate themselves to get those grades by thinking of college. They lose sight of the larger idea that should encourage their studying: a life-long pursuit of learning and intellectual development. This goal contains far more long-term advantages than simply getting that coveted "A".

The situation that I described is the current rut I find myself in. The AP tests are coming up in a
weeks and I still have content to learn and master. In this studying process, I've become more selective about the knowledge that I intake. "Do I need to know the Heisenberg Uncertainty principles to answering the multiple choice questions about quantum mechanics? No? Well, why bother reading about it?" While getting a good grade on the AP exam has real financial benefits, it now towers over a genuine interest in learning. My self-direction has taken a detour towards this AP studying and testing period, replacing my motivation to learn with a motivation to get a 5.

To many, AP testing is not just a detour. Grade-point average and class rank continue to motivate students, instead of the notion of intellectual and personal development. Unfortunately, students begin to question their own intelligence and ability when they see that they have not achieved the almighty "A". It sickens me how society can be this effective in transforming the attitudes of so many students.

Why don't you blog as often as you used to?

2010-03-13T13:34:00.001-05:00

1. Writers block
There are times when I'm just at a lack of things to write about or develop.
2. I'm a slow writer
As you can see, it took me quite a while just to answer this question. Usually I like to "digest" a thought before writing about it.
3. School, extra-curricular activities etc.
All these take up time that I could have spent writing

Although my main purpose for writing is for the sake of writing, it's always nice to get feedback, comments etc. It's definitely an encouragement to continue writing posts when I get the sense that people actually read it.

Ask me anything

formspring.me

2010-03-04T21:41:00.001-05:00

What is your favorite book?

Of Mice and Men. Its a short captivating read that manages to explores many concepts about American society that all American citizens should be aware of.

I surprised myself by choosing this book, as I might have chosen a pop novel by Dan Brown or Stephen King a few months ago. However, I've begun to think more about the issue of sensationalism in today's media. In movies, it has taught the American consumer to prefer bloody fighting and steamy sex scenes, over dialogue and acting. In music, it has taught the consumer to prefer the generic, repetitive and "catchy" music rather than the complex and intricate. Likewise, in literature, it has taught the consumer to prefer symbolic anti-Christian conspiracy novels over the classics. Classics are now referred as "boring" even though they are abundant with interesting allusions and nuances. It is a sad to see society's artistic tastes degenerate towards the bland, mediocre and shallow.

Ask me anything

Threads of Social Theory in Facebook

2010-02-09T19:52:00.000-05:00

Does the obscenely large amount of fans or supporters of the multitude Facebook groups, which typically feature the most banal human urges, suggest a shifting societal phenomena where the individual seeks to validate his or her latent psychological desires through attempting to identify with an online community of "similar" individuals instead of accepting that certain desires or behaviors are the manifestation of a progressive society, which is contrapuntally based on the principles of independence and individualism?

If you didn't get that, just keep joining your groups.

formspring.me

2010-02-08T21:08:00.001-05:00

What kinds of qualities do you look for in a girl/ want your future partner to possess?

Great question, because I'm probably going to end up over analyzing this as well.

An individual's personality, or even his or her identity, is a very intricate concept. You can often describe a friend or acquaintance with relatively concrete adjectives like "down-to-earth" or "laid back". However, when it comes to assessing what makes a person attractive overall, the individual is a tangled mess of personality traits and mannerisms that just appears oh so beautiful. To stop equivocating, I can mention some of the characteristics that I admire, but it can never act as a template for that special someone. You can't lower Earth's gravitational force just because you want to feel less heavy.

I really wish I could mention some of the girls that I've found/find attractive. But since this is an anonymous question that more than a few might see, I really can't. But anyways, here goes:
1. Energy - This definitely contrasts with how many people, outside of my closest friends, see me. But at the same time, "opposites attract" is a legitimate argument. The point here is that a specific balance would be appreciated. Neither withdrawn nor obnoxiously ditsy.
2. Pride/Humility. This is another balance issue that actually incorporates intelligence, self-esteem and understanding. Obviously, it's undesirable to have someone that's too strong-headed or boastful, but at the same time, someone that doesn't show any confidence or self-esteem isn't attractive either.
3. Introversion - Contrasts a bit with the whole "energy" idea, except that there are plenty of shy people that have a "different" personality around their friends. This adds a little bit to the concept of understanding
4. Distinction/Achievement. This left last intentionally because it may appear too legalistic or materialistic. However, achievement is representative of a forward looking and optimistic mindset. Also, and I can't stress this enough, I want to be able to admire someone for their own ability, to look at them as an individual, rather than just a good friend or spouse.

I think that's enough for now.

Ask me anything

Technical Writing? - Thoughts on Engineering, Science and Literature

2010-01-09T19:07:00.006-05:00

I was planning to post something over winter break vacation, but I never got around to it. It might have been for the better anyways, because I found some xkcd comics to help illustrate my points more clearly. I’m not really sure where what direction this writing will take, but I hope to touch on the few points that I will somehow succinctly express in the title. Like in my previous posts, this current paragraph helps me to find a way into the piece, because, in a sense, I’m explaining my purpose and what has led me to write. It might seem a little pompous adding a paragraph long introduction for just a mere blog post that only a handful of people might skim over, considering that most probably won’t have the attention span to make it past this sentence. Anyhow, I feel that the informal tone of this helps a lot (not to say that what is to come is more formal).
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Today, January 9, 2010, was the kick-off of the six-week build season for FIRST Robotics. It was very much similar to my experience from last year’s kick-off: mildly-interesting speeches, great food and intensive designing. Despite this, the first few days of robotics are quite slow because it is centered on design and strategy, rather than implementation. The team spends hours discussing the pros and cons of the various actions involved in game play and how effectively certain designs could accomplish those actions. Once the design is formulated, it is presented to BAE engineers and team sponsors in a preliminary design review. After this, the three groups of the team, mechanical, electrical and software, split off and work on their respective technical problems.

The design phase of the build season raises a question. All three sections work together in order to brainstorm a design when only two work to actualize it. Structural design deals with structural efficiency, something that only the mechanical and electrical people will work on after the design is finalized. On the other hand, making the robot perform its functions, like kicking a ball or navigating terrain, is the sole task of the software team. Why ask them to contribute to an aspect of design that they are not responsible for? Personally, this seems incongruous. It is similar to asking a mechanic which language he would prefer the robot to be coded it. Of course this never occurs during the build season, because the software team, not the mechanical team, will be writing the code. Likewise, there is no need including software in a task that they will never be involved in.

The audience tangibly sees the physical form of the robot, rather than the code that makes it work. Is the inclusion of software some latent form of altruistic narcissism where one assumes that the design will be better when more are involved? The concept of “the more, the merrier” does not apply in a situation when “the more” are people that primarily concern themselves with the loops and conditionals rather than gear ratios and forces.
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http://xkcd.com/451/

This comic helps the reader visualize the differences between technical and humanities careers. The biased opinion does not give enough respect towards writing. One does not need to be familiar with the terms “deconstruction” or “inextricable” to understand that the engineer is portrayed to be infinitely more analytical and perceiving than the literary critic. Despite the divide, there are clear similarities between the two fields.

Simply put, engineering involves itself in solving a problem. The solution must account for the limitations in design and address the requirements. This is seen in software engineering. The limitations are often the space and time constraints for program execution, and the requirements are often the layout of the interface and the presentation of the end result. As a student in AP Computer Science last year, I often had to create user interfaces that allowed the client to do something. This often involved splitting the problem down into simpler steps and combining these steps into a complete program. On the AP test, the program would be graded on how it addressed each of the shorter code fragments that accumulated into a complete program. Points would be given for each section and totaled at the end.

For the sake of clarity, I will change the subject of literary criticism to writing, specifically, writing essays. Essays are one of the most overlooked literary forms, although they are most effective in uniting the reader and the writer. They are involved in introducing a stance on an issue and convincing the reader why that stance is justified. A different level of analysis is involved, where the writer must gather information and formulate arguments in order to be effective. This process is also known as synthesis. In this sense, the writer often encounters a task of the same difficulty as an engineer, even if the only limitation may be the amount of words and the only requirement is to convey a point.

However, there is a distinct difference in grading when it comes to the AP English Language and Composition test. The piece is graded holistically and a score of 1 through 9 is given. Factors like flow, diction and structure are considered, but they are not evaluated separately. This leads to some interesting issues about the discrepancies between the two subjects. I walked into both my APCS and APE class knowing very little about programming and writing, respectively. Had I taken the national APCS test on the first day, I certainly would have failed. However, the APE questions were approachable. After doing some multiple choice questions and free-response essay prompts later in the semester, I found that I would have fared well if I had taken the national test on the first day. I got around 75% of the multiple choice questions correct and a 9 on the essay. This clearly demonstrates how quantitative a subject like Computer Science appears when compared to English. The later has some concepts like “bathos” or “apothesis” that are considered esoteric, but it seems that proficiency on the AP test is based off of one's tendency to read critically and write effectively rather than one's ability to learn and use information. The writer only has to be persuasive to be proficient, whereas an engineer must be knowledgeable and analytical to be competent. The job of the literary critic is certainly difficult, but it has no adherence to grounded concepts and ideas.

Just a quick thought

2009-12-05T00:09:00.006-05:00

School's been a lot of work recently, and it depresses me to see that I haven't written anything for this blog for over two months. I have some things to discuss in the future, but I haven't found the time to gather my thoughts and type them up. So I'll just stick with quick posts for now.

I got this email forward from my dad recently...
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I was in the pub yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to fart. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my farts with the beat.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my pint and noticed that everybody was staring at me.

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
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There seems to be this new world that we enter whenever we use our iPod, check our cell phone or play Pokemon on our gameboys. We become oblivious to the things and people around us. Paraphrasing what my english teacher has said, "There are people going right nearby that could one day be your spouse". Where is the line drawn between isolating yourself for self-enjoyment and putting yourself forward?

Megan Fox Marries Joe Jonas

2009-09-20T21:07:00.004-04:00

I decided that the stuff I write about isn't controversial enough, so here goes:

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Megan Fox. America's obsession. She has become an idol, the epitome of modern beauty. A sizable percentage of the viewers of the Transformer's movies probably went simply because she is featured in it. Filmmakers know this as well; special effects were used in Transformers 2 to make her look especially stunning. In that video, Alex Clegg, producer, is quoted as saying "If she [Megan Fox] doesn't look amazing, this film will fail".

Think about that for a second. Although this movie has been met with mixed reviews, no one can deny its groundbreaking sales. Transformers 2 grossed over $200 million in its first five days. All of this is because of the appearance of an actress that most Americans would kill their best friend to have a night with. What does this say about our culture? That media is judged based on outward appearance rather than content? That consumers have lost the ability to critically judge art? No, this situation demonstrates that America has no taste in women.

After I type "Megan Fox" in Google images, in hopes of being able to understand this nationwide obsession, I am sorely disappointed. Megan Fox is barely average, a nobody rocketed to undeserved fame under the premise of "beauty" and "talent", two things she clearly doesn't have. Why does America love this actress model so much? Because America has lost the ability to assess a woman's beauty based off her eyes, the only thing that really matters. Eyes are really what emanate emotion and passion. To disregard eyes is to nullify the entire judging process. Eyes are as varied as fingerprints. Even if two people have similar eye color, there is still a distinct difference between them. This difference is something that will never happen when you judge based off of any other feature. America, get your priorities straight.
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In English, we recently finished The Great Gatsby (caution, spoilers). It is about this man, named Jay Gatsby, and his tragic quest to win the heart of his past love, Daisy Buchanan. The two of them were acquainted during their younger years back in Louisville, Kentucky, but the relationship had broken off. Daisy now lived in East Egg in New York and Gatsby bought a house right across the bay. He threw many parties in attempts to get her attention. The two of them grew closer towards the end of the book, but this quickly ended when Daisy carelessly ran over someone as she was driving. The victim's husband, who knew that his wife was in an affair, went into a rampage and decided to kill the driver of the car, convinced that he was her lover. He finds Gatsby and kills him, before killing himself.

After reading some analyzes on this book, I began to see the American Dream aspect of this book. Gatsby spent his life devoted to marrying Daisy, a frivolous girl who didn't have the judgment or the brains to drive safely. This girl was his American Dream, a goal whose accomplishment would leave him eternally satisfied.

It is strange that there exists a person whose ambitions are solely fixated on consummating a relationship. I personally think that marriage simply a trade-off between a questionable illusion of love and freedom. Is it really worth sacrificing your independence for the elusive notion of love? Society has associated marriage with a certain degree of prestige and accomplishment where none exists. Marriage serves the purpose of propagation of the human race and financial security. Any additional perks are short lived and ephemeral, as suggested by the 50% divorce rate.
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Lastly, the Jonas Brothers. I keep seeing this group on my news feed about the membership of the group "I Hate the Jonas Brothers". People need to learn the difference between hating and disliking. Personally, I dislike the the Jonas Brothers because, like Megan Fox, they represent everything wrong about American pop culture. They have entered an exclusive social bracket because of their looks, rather than their artistic talent. I remember asking an avid Jonas Brother fan, "Why do you like the Jonas Brothers?" She answered, "C'mon, have you SEEN them?!?!"

Despite this, it is still irrational to hate the Jonas Brothers whereas it is reasonable to dislike them. In the same sense, it is irrational to love the Jonas Brothers whereas it is reasonable to like them. This is just a trivial case of semantics, but to me it is very significant. I view Jonas Brother haters with as much disdain as I view Jonas Brother lovers.

What is History

2009-09-15T21:22:00.003-04:00

Although this was written for school, I thought it be interesting to see what other people thought about this.
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History keeps track of the longest lasting aspects of the human experience. Thousands of years of past events are recorded and presented for future generations to learn. It functions as the bridge between the old and the new. It acts as a way to understand one’s origins. However, history is not solely fact. The historians that record the events of the past might have a bias in the presentation of the facts. Because of this, history is sometimes biased.

History can be defined as the synthesis and presentation of the events of the past. The historian researches and collects a wide array of information about a topic. Then he or she presents the information in a way that informs and enlightens the reader. It is difficult for a historian to remain purely objective in the analysis of history, because, as a human being, he or she already has an opinion about the event. Information will be found and presented in order to convince the readers of that opinion.

The institution of slavery can be explained differently based on the historian’s bias. In one article, Historian A compares slavery to imprisonment in Nazi concentration camps during WWII. The information found supports the point that the slaves’ mentality and personality were crushed similarly to those that were imprisoned in the concentration camps. In another article, Historian B argues that the lifestyle as a slave was not as bad as most people thought. He argued that slaves got more than enough of the daily nutrient intake and were rarely punished. Both articles have biases that distort the truth about the slavery and consequently affect the reader’s knowledge of it. The first article is based on an inaccurate comparison. On plantations, slaves had to be kept healthy in order to work whereas prisoners brought to concentration camps to eventually be killed. The second article has biased information. The author of the article researches the daily nutrition intake himself, showing only the information that would bolster his argument. Also, he concludes that slaves were rarely punished after just one interview with a slave owner known to be lenient with his slaves.

The present also influences the reporting of the past. One article about 9/11, titled “The Case for Rage and Retribution”, was published on September 12, 2001. It called for a “unified, unifying, Pearl Harbor sort of purple American fury” response towards yesterday’s events. Five years later, another article, titled “America in the World: What We’ve Learned since 9/11” was published questioning the effectiveness of the invasions of Afghanistan and Iraq. The article mentioned the low approval rating about the war, the animosity directed towards America from other countries and the loss of ethics in warfare to make the reader critically think about the worth of the invasions. Both of these articles exemplified America’s attitude at the time of publishing. This contrast in belief is due to the different times that the event was viewed. As time goes along, historians have different perspectives on an event because they see more of what has resulted from it. In this sense, the present influences the reporting of the past.

Many factors influence the reporting of history, such as time, the author’s bias and the information used. This makes history a collection of perspectives, with facts used to support them. Because of this, there is a difference between the “past” and “history”. The public can indulge in the illusion of understanding the past, rather than knowing history, when several historians can agree on information. However, the past can never be thoroughly explained because history is inherently biased.

World Records

2009-07-30T19:58:00.005-04:00

The Universal Record Database, a website formed in 2008, offers the opportunity for anyone to achieve a world record. Titles like "Most Neckties Worn at Once" and "Fastest Time to Rip A Phone Book in Half" are typical records posted on the front page. The task need only be quantifiable, breakable and legal. Whatever you can think of, you can make into a world record. Every one now has a chance to achieve "immortality". Under the name of the site, lies the description, "The Definitive Site for Human Achievement".

This is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. Based on a spontaneous idea in your head, you suddenly are promoted as a world-class achiever. Instead of normally being regarded as someone with too much free time, you can be regarded as something much grander. You can achieve an elusive level of greatness, without going through the work that it entails.

A world record is not something to take lightly. Take, for example, the 200m dash. Those wishing to break the record are in competition with not only the current world-class sprinters (Asafa Powell, Tyson Gay), but generations of earlier elite runners (Carl Lewis, Michael Johnson), athletes that were idolized worldwide during their career. An added obstacle to this is the athlete's physiology. For example, Michael Phelps, recepient of 8 gold medals in a single Olympics and holder of 6 world records, has a torso larger than most men of his height, a noticeable advantage in swimming. This suggests that despite the hard work one puts into an event, it can be physically impossible to achieve a world record. This combined difficulty is what gives the world record holders a true sense of immortality.

The website suggests that you can circumvent this difficulty and claim a record as your own. The fact that they can associate such frivolous behavior with something so grand is disgusting.
It is similar to awarding someone a Nobel Prize if they discovered that using pencil as a toothbrush doesn't clean teeth well.

A common justification for this website would be, "Wait, this is just for fun. It's not something to be taken seriously". It is true that the website rewards creativity and imagination. It's a place to put a little of yourself online for others to enjoy. However, there is already a well-known website that has just the same function. It's called Youtube.

Phobia

2009-07-13T23:24:00.000-04:00

A few days ago, I went to the doctor’s office for what would have been a fairly normal checkup. It was simply a continuation on a preliminary test that had yielded some ambiguous results. But during this trip, I’d more closely experienced one of my worst fears, getting blood drawn. The whole premise of a tiny metal needle penetrating skin to extract the most important fluid in your body has always been very frightening to me. I viewed it with significantly more dread than any other checkup routine. However, I still went through with the test, as I knew that in the long term, it would be beneficial to find any diseases early. This led me to question, “If the pain of the blood drawing was significantly larger, how would my decision have been affected?” On a larger scale, many factors, like emotions, values and spiritual beliefs have a distinctive influence on the slow deliberative nature of a rational decision making process.

On the face, emotions and logic conflict when making decisions. Emotion involves personal introspection whereas logic involves outside analysis. Despite this, both can coexist in daily life. When I got the blood drawn, all I was thinking about was how the procedure could result in some serious injury. A more logical approach to this would have been to conclude that there was a miniscule probability of malpractice because of the long existence of the medical procedure. In this case, my reason helped me to go ahead with the procedure, but my emotions kept me pessimistic during it.

Other factors like religious beliefs and morality tend to have an even larger effect when it comes to decision making. A clear example of this would be any form of humanitarian work. Although one could argue service provides a sense of worldly purpose, this claim is subjective. A purely objective analysis of charitable work suggests that there are no immediate or measurable advantages. It simply appears to be a tedious chunk of time spent acting as a slave of man. However, those involved in community service know that this is a naïve conclusion, as they have a purpose for their work, whether it is something as grand as genuine compassion or something as workaday as community service hours. They have a sense of direction, derived from personal introspection rather than outside observations.

This leads to a critical assessment of the value of emotion and values systems. Media often contrasts a peppy energetic blonde with a reserved white-collar worker, suggesting a direct correlation between intelligence and “connection” with emotion. It gives impulsive behavior a negative connotation, while glorifying more analytical behavior. This is a distortion. Because daily decisions are and have always been influenced by both logic and emotion, it is shortsighted to declare one as more socially expedient than the other. It is up to the individual to decide which one has the more priority in a decision making process.

88 Keys

2009-06-21T20:12:00.000-04:00

Piano. One of those things that most ABCs will encounter during the childhood, right next to Chinese school and Kumon. Being a piano student for over eight years, I'd like to share my experience with those black and white keys.

According to my parents, I was enrolled in piano lessons because of my interest. I studied at the Cleveland Institute of Music in the pedagogy department when I was six years old. During the first year, I studied under the head of the pedagogy department, Mrs. Olga, a very strict and outspoken teacher. Eventually, I was transferred to one of the dean's students, Ms. Yudha.

For most of my years living in Ohio, piano lessons meant a tiring half-hour drive, anxiety and frustration. Mrs. Olga would constantly scold me for my stubbornness, the reason why she handed me down to Ms. Yudha for future instruction. Ms. Yudha would often point to a trash can and say, "That's where your mom's money is going." Lots of backward glances to my mom during these scoldings would be returned with as harsh a look. Frequent piano recitals only served to worsen my experience. I dealt with a lot of stage fright, from the moment I walked into the building.

There were a few situations that only served to augment my disliking of piano lessons. Because Mrs. Olga was a pedagogy teacher, she had her college students observing how she taught me. To me, they were just a group of people whose presence only served to intensify my anxiety. Once, when I was learning that the numbers next to the notes meant the fingerings for the key, I asked a question along the lines of "So why aren't there any 6s?" (the numbers 1-5 meant the five fingers for the hand). The whole group of college students burst out in laughter, like a pack of hyenas satisfied with its kill.

Ms. Yudha and Mrs. Olga seemed to be devoid of any human compassion. I can't remember a single compliment or word of encouragement from them. Once or twice, I felt so bad about my playing that I started crying a little. How did they react? Mrs. Olga most likely used this as a model of strictness for her college students to follow. Ms. Yudha encouraged me to cry more.

What force enabled me to continue going into that building week after week? This question still remains unanswered to this very day. Did my parents' strictness at home keep me on track with my studies? Were piano lessons and practice just so routine that I became numb to my negative feelings about it? Was my interest as a toddler enough to allow me to sustain the constant anxiety and practice necessary to study piano? Was it the anticipation of a future accomplishment, like when one works on a jigsaw puzzle, my motivation? Maybe it was even the sticker I got after completing a piece that made all the work worthwhile.

Ms. Yudha was eventually replaced by one of Ms. Olga's prior students, Mr. Lo. If I had to partition my overall piano experience, the line would be drawn at the time that I started studying at Mr. Lo. I felt that he had a tangible interest in teaching music, unlike the first two. Ms. Yudha seemed to be more concerned in the technical details rather than music as a whole. Mrs. Olga was an elitist, only offering instruction to those who were able keep up with her high standards.

Moving to New Hampshire was a hiccup in my piano instruction. Unable to find a traditional teacher, my parents signed me up with a teacher in a hole-in-the-wall type of piano instruction. I was introduced to lots of new things during my short time studying with him, such as jazz, contemporary music and music theory. When I moved, I also got an electric piano. All these factors expanded my horizons on music.

When I first studied under Philip Feng, I knew he would be completely different than my previous teachers. He taught in his apartment, giving a sense of informality to the lessons. Another thing I noticed was the length of time he spent devoted to his lessons. Ms. Yudha seemed to precisely partition an equal amount of time for all my pieces, as if she just wanted to get a cursory taste of what I'd done in the past week. She'd frequently interrupt my playing with criticism. Mr. Lo would spend most of the time on one, sometimes missing the others because of the time limit. For Philip, it would be natural to go past the 45 minutes allocated for the lesson. Usually, like Mr. Lo, he would spend a significant amount of the time on just one piece.

Philip was much less strict than Ms. Yudha and Mrs. Olga. This was much appreciated as it made me more feel more comfortable playing. In Cleveland, I don't remember feeling like I was getting into the music because I was more concerned about playing the notes correctly rather than feeling the music (This might also have been because the music was much simpler then). When I studied under Philip, he downplayed the effect of wrong notes on overall performance. He spent most of his lesson focusing on phrasing and expression. When he talked about technique, it was presented as another way to introduce a different color and tone to the music.

It was working with Philip where I really began to enjoy playing piano. I was made aware of the vast amount of musical nuances behind the notes. With the right mindset, this understanding led to a greater appreciate of piano, just as the understanding the motifs and themes behind a piece of literature leads to a greater appreciation of it. Although I was still reluctant to put lots of hours into practicing, I was considerably more interested and focused when I did practice.

Although I didn't know it at the time, piano competitions gave me motivation to practice more, just as matches and tournaments give athletes motivation to train harder. My performance in annual auditions and competitions gave me the opportunity to see how I had progressed in the past year. Additionally, it made the hours spent preparing for the competitions, though not that many, worthwhile. Getting an honorary mention in the Granite State Piano Competition in 2006 was one of the most satisfying moments of my life. Not receiving anything save a record of participation the following year was difficult, but it made me realize that piano was an all or nothing activity. It entails long hours of practicing, even if it is just spent on a small section of music. Because of this, it also requires a lot of interest and motivation, something I don't think I have enough of. These opportunities helped me to view piano as something past practicing in the living room and playing in long studio recitals.

Piano played an essential role in my transition to other instruments. Concepts of voicing, phrasing, and dynamics helped me to quickly pick-up and develop my ability to play on drums, bass and guitar. I was able to understand how other drummers transition between parts of a song, because I was used comfortable with phrasing in classical music. With an attentive ear and lots of experimentation, I began to develop my own fills. In bass and guitar, simple concepts in music theory like arpeggios helped enhance my playing.

When I was still in middle school, my dad offered a sort of business deal with me. If I would play half an hour of piano a month at an elderly home in Nashua, he would add $5 dollars to my allowance. I decided to try it out, but I rejected the monetary offer. Playing piano as a form of community service returned me in a way that could not be measured through money. Well maybe it could, because this offer would expand a hundred-fold.

Playing piano at Hunt Community was a very satisfying activity. My audience, though only 5-20 people, seemed to enjoy the performance, giving me lots of compliments afterward. Slowly, connections formed with my audience. I met Susan and Victor Tallarico, parents of Steven Tyler, lead singer of Aerosmith. He would constantly give me feedback on my performance, occasionally ranting about my choice of music. However, his presence made it more interesting to play, as I had professional eyes and ears watching and listening to my performance. He asked me a lot about my teacher. Before I left for the summer, he gave me music suggestions and his own sheet music.

When I asked Katie to help me play piano with me and mentioned that we were both instructed by the same teacher, Mr. Tallarico began to take more interest in Philip. When they finally were able to talk, he gave Philip around $500 worth of music.

Although I'm not in piano lessons anymore, I still play once in a while, sometimes longer than the time I normally spent practicing. When I do, I find myself truly engaged in the music, playing for the sake of listening and enjoying the music, instead of technical perfection. To me, It represents one of the best forms of self-expression, the basis of any further musical learning, and an opportunity to serve the community. It is one of those things that will be a vital part of who I am.

A PrintScrn of Intelligence

2009-06-04T20:20:00.000-04:00

After I wrote that "10 Things About Me" note, I realized that I forgot one of my strongest attitudes: occasionally, its a real pain to be smart. One of my first blog posts, and maybe my longest one, lightly brushed on this topic by explaining historical, social and personal reasons behind "intelligence" among Asians. However, it felt like a more retrospective look at the roots of intelligence, rather than a dynamic view of what it feels like waking up each day under the label of "being smart". This post is meant to elucidate some of those emotions.
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"It has yet to be proven that intelligence has any survival value." Although, no one can ignore the social advantages of "being smart", it would be naive to revere academic intelligence as a flawless characteristic. Many people are unable to gauge their overall intelligence because it is not measured in a way that is as concrete as the 10-point grading scale. This leads to a subconscious idolization of those who are academically competent and a fixation on following such behavior. However noble this goal may be, many do not see the downfalls of achieving it.

Above-average performance goes hand in hand with above-average expectations. I recall a conversation with a friend about qualifications about an internship about a software company. I said that because I had qualified for the AIME, I had the advantage above others. He responded by saying something along the lines of, "That's not very surprising because you're Asian. They want someone who exceeds normal expectations." Without getting into stereotypes, I found this to be an excellent illustration of how society has preset expectations of people based on past performance. Performing well on a hard test can lead classmates to expect similar performances on following tests. A 95 could be viewed as both below average and above average depending on the history of the test taker.

It is human nature to compare. In track, people compare times against earlier performances to judge their progress. In school, friends may compare report cards to decide who's smarter. Many events in the Olympics are scored based on comparisons by a panel of judges. Comparisons can lose their effectiveness when judged across incorrectly synchronized standards. For example, a freshmen that runs an 11.4 could be said to be less of a contribution to the team compared to a senior that runs a 10.9. However, when gauging future potential, it is incorrect to say that a 10.9 is better than an 11.4 without considering the age of the runners.

Some people have tendencies to make overarching assumptions when it comes to academic intelligence. For example, "If you're in AP Calculus, why can't you do this geometry question in two seconds?". The teacher of the geometry course, the conceptual differences between calculus and geometry, the memory of the student and ability to problem solve were ignored when asking this question. There are also some questions asked that are cross-curricular but are still fundamentally different. For example, "You finished the whole Kumon program. So why does your design for a vertical conveyor belt device fail?". Some statements are made under the assumption of an omnipotent intelligence. "Oh hey, look at that thick book, Victor must read that". The opposite can also be done. Negative expectations of social and physical skill can be formed when someone is book smart.

In all of these circumstances, someone's image can change based off of stereotypes. The media tends to poke fun at or glamorize some of these stereotypes, only circulating them throughout society more. No matter how consistent such stereotype is, it is not a reliable basis of comparison.

Another disadvantage of "being smart" is the inability to tease others about a foolish or stupid thing they did without having a conscience completely clear of guilt of being haughty or scornful. As stated before, people tend to look up to more experienced people as role models. This being the case, words and actions from that person can be very influential. During freshmen year doing hurdles, I looked up to the seniors hurdlers for advice. Their encouragement also was just as helpful. Although teasing is approached from the perspective of a friend, a perception of an approach as someone intellectually superior can be very damaging and discouraging.

Lastly, intelligence sometimes can single you out because of different tastes. The people you interact can also make a difference, so being placed in higher classes can lead to different interests.

Intelligence has both its advantages and its downfalls. It is one of man's greatest mistakes to ignore the implications of any form of superiority when judging its immediate effects.
__________________________________________________________________________

If you found this note mildly interesting, you might enjoy these as well.
10 Things About Me
Intelligence vs. Ethnicity
Some Thoughts About Genius
Giftedness

10 Things About Me

2009-05-31T19:45:00.000-04:00

I kind of felt like writing about something, but I had nothing to write about, so I decided to be a tool and write a 10 things about me post.

1. I tend to have negative impressions of people if they listen to excessive amounts of pop rock
2. Although some people think I'm smart, I'm really a lazy bum who spends the majority of math class playing Pokemon Emerald.
3. I wish I had more motivation to play classical piano.
4. I believe analysis of information is much more useful than acquisition of it. Therefore, I really don't care for learning languages.
5. I don't remember really liking anyone from sometime in 6th grade to the end of 9th grade.
6. As each year of seniors graduate, part of my soul wastes away.
7. Because of #6, I feel that this year is probably going to be the best of the four years of high school and senior year will be the worst.
8. Sports and anything competitive should be appreciated because of the strategy involved. Fixation on teamwork or competition can lead to a lot of frustration. A lot of my motivation to do hurdles, despite poor meet performances comes from seeing improvements in technique.
9. I believe that those who think track or cross-country runners aren't athletes should be shot on sight.
10. I am a slow writer.

The Ugly Truth

2009-05-06T21:03:00.000-04:00

I came across this picture a while ago and realized there was a lot of truth to it. However, as a stereotype, it has a sizable "hole" where an individual of group doesn't fulfill what the stereotype predicted. This room for error ranges from stereotype to stereotype.

For example, the statement "All Americans enjoy football" has slightly more truth than a statement like "All Americans get take-out and fast food every night." Additionally, these stereotypes can be "disproved" when an individual is raised in a way that deviates from the norms of society. For example, the percentage of immigrants that enjoy football is less than the percentage of American-born citizens.

I came to understand this gap in the picture recently. A couple friends and I made a chart of various aspects of intelligence to determine who was smarter of two girls (I'm pretty sure it was way too analytical and meticulous to be mere gossip). The categories we made related to a broader intelligence, rather than the highest SAT score type intelligence. These included knowledge, analysis, awareness, intuition, social skills, neuroticism (your ability to create new rocks), agreeableness and self-management

We'd give a score of one to ten, then total it up. Then we weighted these categories so that a difference in one of them would be more pronounced. For example, multiplying the score of self-management by two for each person would give the more organized and time-efficient person a greater advantage.

At the end of this, the girls watching decided to try it out for themselves. After staring at some of the categories for a little, they decided to make their own: clothes, hair, eyes, teeth, face, personality, comfortableness around the opposite sex, cockiness and a few more. Turns out that later, they didn't finish the list. They just made matches instead.

Although, our scale was intended to measure intelligence, not attractiveness, the precision and depth of our judgment sharply contrasted with the girls'. Although, we don't exactly go around looking for girls that are very adept at creating new rocks, we aren't solely fixated on physical beauty either.

The picture gives the message that the ugly truth is that men tend to be attracted more to physical beauty while women tend to be attracted to "inner" beauty. Just from overhearing locker room conversations from track, I know that only a small amount of guys feel strongly enough about inner beauty to speak about it publicly.

All throughout history, women had been viewed as inferior to men. Eventually, marriages developed from obligatory betrothals and diplomacy to meaningful relationships. However, there are still imbalances in the way gender roles play out in relationships. Coming from a highly materialistic society that holds models and actors in egregiously high esteem, this is not a surprise. Hopefully, our attitudes and mindsets can develop to marginalize or belittle physical beauty, and thereby making the message of "the ugly truth" less veritable.

They Aren't Naked Till Their Bones Are Showing - Software Quotes Continued

2009-05-05T19:14:00.001-04:00

How stress from AP exams affect CS students...
___________________________________________________________________________________

campion: its a bit confusing but it makes sense to him
jason: but it doesn't work, so it doesn't make sense at all

jason: yeah down with peggle
nate: alright we get it, you have a veement hatred of peggle

jason: i think we should do a school wide survey on penis length

pranil: hey AB kids, are you guys learning stacks?
glenn: yes
pranil: then, whats a stack overflow error?
glenn: it means you fail miserably

john: huh, so taylor's on facebook in school.
victor: oh yeah, i saw your wall post. you were like, "i thought i was the only one on software who had sold their soul to facebook"
john: yeah, pretty soon he'll be taking mirror shots for his profile picture

john: jason you make me lose hope for humanity

batch: yeah, i don't want to stay after this week because i have a hefty english paper. hefty like the paper towel. you know, they pick up a lot of things

victor: i see how b works, but i don't get how a doesn't work
john: because a isn't as cool

victor: what's with south people always using facebook during school?
victor: wait, anand just posted on my wall telling me that indians like cricket as much as asians like pingpong
john: i've never heard of such stereotype before
victor: perhaps ill ask sant
sant is preoccupied playing peggle
victor: hmm, i guess i'll ask samita
john: well because samita is ostracized from the indian community, i don't think she's considered an indian
victor: well if you think about it, she's pretty much ten indians. everything she does is a characteristic of an indian intensified
john: except that no indian likes her
victor: exactly, indians by nature are isolated and quiet, so seeing as she is isolated by her own community...
john: still one person is not enough to prove a stereotype, you need more indians
victor: well like i said, samita counts as ten indians, so if she has any hint of liking cricket, we can say that indians have some inate liking of cricket.
john: but then you're assuming that ten is a sufficient test number for such a large race. the indians in india might be too poor to afford the equipment
victor: true, but we could at least prove that all indians at north like/dislike cricket becuase she makes up at least 150% of the indian population

upon reading "the indians in india might be too poor to afford the equipment"
pranil & sant: that's not true
victor: are you kidding me? slumdog millionaire?

jason: we need more sex on television; dora the explorer

jason: what's that?
john: its my submission for the Ayn Rand Fountainhead Scholarship Essay Contest. You can win $10,000.
jason: sounds like a waste of time
john: eh, samita's probably going to win it anyways
jason: she could get some good kneepad usage out of that

victor: so what were you saying about programming at school? it feels dirty?
jason: i don't remember half the shit i say

batch: are we supposed to write the answers down?
glenn: no just memorize them

campion talking about tree nodes
glenn: this is quite similar to recursion
campion: yeah tree nodes and recursion love each other, they're like married
glenn: they should get a divorce

jason: shut the fuck up about tits

campion talking about processing
glenn: ill process you
...
glenn: yes aviv?
aviv: is that a pick-up line?
glenn: no its a threat

campion: so blow up your ballons about this big
aviv: yes sant, about the size of a peggle peg

jason: maybe you should have chairs, with vaginas on them
john: how would you sit on them?
jason: you wouldn't. but we'd still call them chairs

campion: andrew why are you always moving?
aviv: he's a dynamic programmer

jason: they aren't naked until their bones are showing

sant: how do you draw a circle?
aviv: are you kidding me? g dot drawoval
sant: what are the parameters?
aviv: x position, y position length and height
sant: i can't make a perfect circle?
aviv: make length and height equal, throw yourself out a window
mike: whats a circle?

The Anthem Essay Contest Submission

2009-03-21T20:55:00.000-04:00

http://www.aynrand.org/site/PageServer?pagename=education_contests_anthem

Just decided to put up my submission... I did the third writing prompt.

Ayn Rand’s book, The Anthem, is the quest of a man to find identity. In doing so, he is exiled from his community, but the joy from his discovery made it worthwhile. A very bright and inquisitive man, Equality creates a glass box, something he values and treasures deeply. When he flees to the forest, he finds that is able to live without the provisions of society. Upon stumbling on the word, “I” while reading some books in a house from the Unmentionable Times, Equality has a revelation and epiphany about his identity. Through his experiences immersed in and isolated from society, he finds meaning and purpose past working for the will of society.

All throughout his life, Equality was very smart and investigative. These were traits got him frequently punished in school. As a street sweeper, he often went down into the tunnels to conduct experiments. This act was an outlet for his unquenchable thirst for knowledge. He is regretful of his intelligence, calling it a curse and “A great sin, to be born with a head that is too quick. “ Despite this, he continues on with his studies.

After Equality’s glass box is rejected by the World Council of Scholars and he is thrown out, the sense of pride and identity in original invention and the downfalls of a communist society are made more evident. Equality 7-2521 had worked long and hard on this glass box and had put sentimental value in it. He describes it as a “vein growing within us, glowing red with our blood” and, in the quote, as a “living heart that gives us strength”, shedding light onto how attached he was to his creation. When he is imprisoned and tortured, Equality does not reveal the things he did underground. When threatened by the world council, Equality is apathetic about the physical torture that would ensue. However, he adamantly refuses to let the Scholars destroy the invention. Consistently, he values the glass box over his body, even when threatened. This demonstrates his resolve to protect his original creation, an extension and symbol of his identity and individuality.

When the full implications of this invention, such as cleaner more efficient lighting, are revealed to him, Equality 7-2521 begins daydreaming about the future. He envisions the unanimous appreciation of the glass box, his acceptance to the House of Scholars and higher living standards the box would bring to the community. The reaction of the World Council was quite the opposite. The Council become fearful and declares it useless. They bring up two important arguments: the box was not made or appreciated collectively and the box would disrupt the economic cycle by deprecating the Department of Candles and complicating the plans of the World Council. One scholar goes so far as to say, “And if this should lighten the toil of men, then it is a great evil, for men have no cause to exist save toiling for other men”. By this decision to stick to the past instead of adapting and improving, the inefficiency and rigidness of his society is revealed. The glass box represents innovation and individualism. By discarding it, the council has shown that they value dogma and tradition over context and expedience.

When he runs away after his glass box is rejected by the World Council of Scholars, he establishes a new life for himself in forest. His eyes are open to the infiniteness of the world and its desire to get something back from him. In the quote, “I wished to know the meaning of things. I am the meaning”, Equality finally figures out that his destiny and his future lie within him, and him alone. He doesn’t feel any more shame in his intellectual superiority. No longer does he have to answer to a higher authority; no longer must he repress his judgment and his views.

A very symbolic representation of this quest is the naming of the characters in the society. Each is given a political word followed by a set of digits. People must refer to themselves as “We” and others as “they”. This was a tool used by the World Council to blur the line between the individual and his or her community. Equality meets Liberty, a girl that he is inclined towards because of her bold personality. When Equality and Liberty get together for the second time, they share what they think the other should be named, although it is against the law. Later, they name each other Prometheus, bringer of light and Gaea, mother of the earth. These are subconscious attempts to forge a new form of identity past a set of numbers and an occupation.

Equality later discovers the word Unspeakable Word, “I”, while reading some of the books in his home. With this discovery, Equality understands more about the human spirit and its resilience against opposition. It was this comfort in identity that allowed him to endure countless whippings and hot coals. It was this comfort that allowed the martyrs to say “I” without any pangs of guilt. It was this that gave them such peace of mind when they burned in a frenzy of flames. This word contains a freedom not only of choice and thought, but of being, as expressed in Equality’s statements “I am, I think, I will”.

Equality and Liberty begin to learn and appreciate being able to live independently of society. While venturing through the forest, Equality kills a bird, cooks and eats it, saying afterwards, “There was a great satisfaction to be found in the food which we need and obtain by our own hand.” He is able to find water and fruit and create a crude form of habitat by building a ring of fires. When they find the home, Equality builds a “cobweb more impassable than a wall of granite” for protection against society.

Soon, Equality realizes bigger picture of the society that he was living in; one that restricted individualism to better the community, but one that resulted in the opposite. Through their successful adaptation to the forest, Equality is physically and socially released of any obligation to his community, saying “I owe nothing to my brothers, nor do I gather debt from them.” This erudition and enlightenment is the end of Equality’s quest.

After enduring years of repression and opposition in society, Equality has found his identity and his ego. Although Equality and Liberty were exiled from the community, a somber ending, the book portrays the more important message of hope, freedom and life where individual beliefs and behavior have more value than collectivism and conformity.

Technical Discussions of Social Interactions with Females

2009-03-05T21:11:00.000-05:00

Me and patty-mac's scientific and analytical discussions about dealing with girls:

Furthering Superficial Relationship Through Social Networking

altf4pressaltf4 (8:48:44 PM): apparently, doing 5x5 rubik's cubes gets you girls at math league
altf4pressaltf4 (8:49:06 PM): i just chillin and doing one and these two girls from another school came over and we started talking...
altf4pressaltf4 (8:49:29 PM): they were like 7-8/10 also

(filler)

altf4pressaltf4 (8:52:15 PM): well they took a picture and asked for my name for facebook within a couple of minutes
altf4pressaltf4 (8:52:32 PM): -.-
amasianpk (8:52:41 PM): oooh haha
altf4pressaltf4 (8:52:50 PM): but because they were hot and white, i doubt they are stalkers...
altf4pressaltf4 (8:52:52 PM): so w\e
altf4pressaltf4 (8:53:15 PM): they haven't friend requested yet, and i don't want to do the same, because that lowers me to their level
amasianpk (8:53:38 PM): haha very true
amasianpk (8:53:42 PM): you dont want to seem desperate or anything
altf4pressaltf4 (8:53:47 PM): yeah
amasianpk (8:54:26 PM): well, you'll either come out as desperate, or just a friendly, rubik's-cube-solving, math team person :P
altf4pressaltf4 (8:54:55 PM): yeah, depending on the sender of the request
amasianpk (8:55:24 PM): mm
amasianpk (8:55:48 PM): or the mentality of the recipient
altf4pressaltf4 (8:55:55 PM): oic
altf4pressaltf4 (8:55:59 PM): hmmm
altf4pressaltf4 (8:56:08 PM): i guess becuase they confronted me first, they wouldn't really mind
altf4pressaltf4 (8:56:16 PM): and apparently they find it normal to ask people for their names for facebook

_________________________________________________________________________

Conditions for Invocation of Amorous Emotions Specific To A Solitary Person

altf4pressaltf4 (4:59:15 PM): math project
altf4pressaltf4 (4:59:29 PM): create a continuous heart that only has two cusps

(filler)

altf4pressaltf4 (5:31:27 PM): yeah, im glad i got assigned this project
altf4pressaltf4 (5:31:38 PM): too bad i don't have a legit crush atm
amasianpk (5:32:48 PM): you dont have a legit one?
amasianpk (5:33:02 PM): does that mean you have an unlegitimate one?
amasianpk (5:33:03 PM): :P
altf4pressaltf4 (5:33:21 PM): -.-
altf4pressaltf4 (5:34:39 PM): lol if a crush is defined as kind of liking someone for both personality and outward appearance, i'd have several..
altf4pressaltf4 (5:34:49 PM): so how to choose -.-
amasianpk (5:35:04 PM): lol
amasianpk (5:35:36 PM): id define it more as an abnormal affinity for a specific person due to their personality, and possibly outward appearance
amasianpk (5:35:40 PM): but yeah i see your point ;-)
amasianpk (5:35:41 PM): lol
altf4pressaltf4 (5:35:56 PM): yeah, pretty much my definition
altf4pressaltf4 (5:36:00 PM): except more emphasis on personality
amasianpk (5:36:13 PM): lol yeah
altf4pressaltf4 (5:36:41 PM): yeah like i started talking to someone recently because we both took java programming
altf4pressaltf4 (5:37:03 PM): and a little in real life
altf4pressaltf4 (5:37:34 PM): but then there are some girls on the track team...
altf4pressaltf4 (5:37:35 PM): -.-
altf4pressaltf4 (5:37:46 PM): so i don't have a crush
amasianpk (5:37:57 PM): lol
altf4pressaltf4 (5:37:57 PM): i just have an "inclination towards a certain subset of girls"

Giftedness

2009-03-05T19:08:00.000-05:00

Giftedness it the attainment of excellence without undergoing the hard work entailed by it. According to Ohio's AEP and Nashua's REACH programs, I was identified as a "gifted" student. Reading some old records of teachers' observations of me in the classroom, I found that I was also arrogant and sometimes critical of others' ideas. As I grew up, I underwent the same social change that all adolescents feel: the need to conform.

It is surprising that very highly gifted children do not rebel more frequently against the inappropriate educational provision which is generally made for them. Studies have repeatedly found that the great majority of highly gifted students are required to work, in class, at levels several years below their tested achievement. Underachievement may be imposed on the exceptionally gifted child through the constraints of an inappropriate and undemanding educational program or, as often happens, the child may deliberately underachieve in an attempt to seek peer-group acceptance.

– Miraca U.M. Gross

My grades did not plummet. I performed well on tests and quizzes. I did not try being someone that I wasn't. However, the major change was that I became more patient with "less gifted" classmates. Although I was now able to work better with them, I still couldn't quite relate to them. When I was with my friends, we would make jokes about the short-sighted air-heads in our class. But whenever I actually had to work with them, I would repress such feelings of arrogance.

It wasn't until my freshmen year, specifically the start of spring track, that I began to have a better perspective about this concept of "giftedness".

As some of you may already know, I run hurdles and sprints during winter and spring track. During my first season of track as an eighth grader, I ran hurdles once in a while, but I rarely practiced them. In high school I started to take track and hurdling more seriously. I officially started hurdles during winter track freshmen year. In the spring, I got spikes to learn block-starting to hurdles and 3-stepping.

I practiced hurdles almost everyday. Despite my sprint speed and relative fitness, it took me a while to three-step once in competition. You have to start fast, maintain proper form over the hurdle, land smoothly and run at at least 90% of your starting speed into the next hurdle. During spring track, my form improved a lot, but I was never able to three-step consistently. In competition, I actually run around one hurdle and pushed another one down because I'd never gotten the rhythm down.

There was another freshmen on the track team, by the name of Eric. He was also a sprinter. I always just a little bit faster than him at the 100m. When he ran a 13.7, I ran a 13.5. When he ran a 12.7, I ran a 12.6 (now he's a bit faster than me). Despite my faster sprint speed, he was much better at hurdling. You could say that he was "gifted" at them.

On the first day of practice, he hurdled varsity level hurdles at a level that would definitely catch your eye. Within the first two weeks, he could three-step with relative ease. During some races, his rhythm would be interrupted and he would five-step the last couple of hurdles. But by the end of the season, he was running as fast as one of the seniors and qualified for Class L's with a time only 0.8 seconds off of the school record. Eric and I would practice the hurdles virtually everyday. I respected this because he had natural talent and he was willing to work for his times.

During sophomore year, I decided to do cross-country to stay in shape and prepare for winter and spring track. At the start of winter track, Eric did some three-stepping without blocks in a gym, attracting a bunch of freshmen to hurdling. As the season progressed, he placed in virtually all New Hampshire track meets and broke the school record wearing running flats. What decreased though, was the time he spent actually practicing.

Every day at track, we would do blocks, high jump, long jump and hurdles before our workout. There were some freshmen hurdling at first, but they quickly became discouraged and quit to try out other specials. Eventually, it was just me doing the hurdles. Eric would occasionally skip practices or just play basketball.

You can imagine the frustration I felt. Although I worked much more than him, he was able to glide perfectly over the hurdles and beat competitors a few years older than him. During freshmen year, I admired him for his talent and work-ethic, but this year, I started to see how arrogant he was. Although he never made fun of other people when they tried the hurdles, his actions and his practice routine demonstrated his complacency.

Soon, I began to see parallels between Eric's hurdling and my math. In a relatively short time, he was able to master an event that some seniors can't perform well. In math class, I can relax because I've already learned the content or can teach myself it in less than 10 minutes. I work harder than Eric but he runs faster than me. My classmates take notes and do more practice problems but I get better grades.

This still-ongoing experience has helped me to understand how people feel when dealing with those more "gifted". Everyone has their own natural talent. Taking challenges and adapting to new situations can reveal them, just as joining track revealed Eric's talent at hurdling. For those that are particularly good at something, it is important not to become complacent. For those that had interest and desire, but learn more slowly, it is important to be patient and persistent. Through my experience on the track team, I have seen both sides of this "relationship".

2009 First Robotics Granite State Regionals

2009-03-02T19:15:00.000-05:00

This year's First Robotics Competition Granite State Regional was from the 26th to the 28th. Thursday was mainly for the teams to uncrate their robots, make finishing touches and test drive on playing surface. Friday was the first actual day of competition. In order to rank the teams as accurately as possible, there was a little bit over 40 matches played. Each robot participated in around 5 or 6 matches with 5 other randomly selected robots. Saturday was the wrapping up of the seeding matches and the start of the playoffs. After lunch, an alliance process started where the top 8 teams selected their two alliance partners in order to perform at full potential in the matches.

This years game was Lunacy.

Because of the slippery playing surface, thursday was a very important day for the teams to develop and fine-tune driving techniques. To occupy time, I either watched the practice rounds or did scouting. Essentially, this was walking around in the pit and asking teams about their robots.

Here were some of the best robots we scouted or observed in competition

Our team got eliminated in the semi-finals becuase the circuit board connections to the collector were fried. Our alliance probably would have advanced if this did not happen. Here was the video of the final match of the day.

The whole weekend/half week was worth attending, especially as a first year. Matches got really repetitive and boring after a while, but this time could be spent wandering about in the pit or scouting. As the match was at Verizon Wireless Arena in Manchester, we got to wander around New Hampshire's largest city for food as well. If I hadn't slept in on saturday, I might have gotten my hands on some "fetus-sized" calzones. We came across some fassive grammar mail, which I seem to be unable to rotate.

Software Quotes

2009-03-02T18:23:00.000-05:00

Brief Summary of Characters

Software

taylor - your average coder
john - your average coder who has an amazing ability to exaggerate and express ideas
karson - the next bill gates, he is working on an OS than runs on Windows, which is a paradox but w\e
jason - Evil scientist that will create a virus that will bypass all anti-virus security programs
nathan - APCS classmate. Good with graphics, not so good with programming logic.
andrew h - APCS classmate
batch(short for batchelder) - APCS classmate that has a runny mouth
victor - myself, interchangably used with 'me'. That wasn't redundant at all.
aviv - decent programmer, APCS classmate
pranil - APCS classmate
zane - APCS classmate
sant - APCS classmate frequently made fun of for aspiring to go to harvard

Electrical

matt leeds - Just about as nerdy as someone on software.

Mechanical

alex - mechanical lead, slacker crack-head appearance, but very smart. Perhaps the weed gives him vision.
john - MIT Student helping us out probably for a class at MIT. Specializes in mechanical.
erich - average mechanical guy

Mentors/Teachers

rick - software
dave - software
campion - APCS teacher
mrs. bent - AP program coordinator

________________________________________________________________

john n: nathan's here, quick, hide the laptop

taylor: (removes flashdrive with autonomous code on it) just making sure you don't edit it

john n: that's like saying you could make a baby in a month with nine women.

andrew b: on november 16th, you told me to shut up.
mr. campion: i tell you that almost daily.

matt leeds: I suppose we'll have to cut the wire to the c-rio*.

john n: is that an applet?
batch: yes
john n: applets suck
andrew h: then use guis
john n: guis suck as well
jason: go back to your assembly programming then

after negotiating placement of the camera on the robot
brian messes around with roller things
john m: What the titty-fucking thing are you doing?
victor soft laughs
alex: You made victor giggle. software guys laughs at how we talk.
john: Yeah it fucking works differently down here in mechanical.
alex: yeah, us machinists are dirty.

me: jason, some people can text without looking at their keyboard, even a numberpad one
jason: yeah i know. i can eat a hamburger, drink soda and text at the same time
me: why would you eat a hamburger and drink soda at the same time?
jason y: why wouldn't you eat a hamburger and drink soda at the same time?

(trying to plug an ethernet cable to an ethernet port)
karson: it doesn't fit

john: so the output is victor*** luu
victor: (turns head)ORLY now?
john: yes, Victor luu = new Victor();
return luu;

john: i have an half-eaten-by termites keyboard.
me: termites?
john: yes, apparently they were plastic eating termites. now they will have enlarged breasts because powerdered plastic is very chemically similar to estrogen.

rick: where are you headed?
john: out to kidnap dillon to get the win-river** install discs
john comes back an hour later
victor: did you kidnap dillon?
john: no, he ran and my taser was in your pocket. i blame you

victor notes that the installation referenced install size and disk in kilobytes
victor: why don't they reference memory in megabytes?
dave: this was made in the 80s, i don't think they had megabytes back then.

karson: i need a lead
victor: you must high, why would you want nathan here?
karson: its an electrical term.

karson: i still haven't gotten back from campion. its only been five minutes since i emailed him.
karson: crap, i forgot to title the email. please don't put that on the software fail list.
victor: that's not so much a software fail as a life fail.

victor: I've calculated the average time it takes for a software quote to come up. At 7:49, I found the average time between quotations to be 12.85714. It is 8:02 and karson had just said the above.

victor: you know campion thinks that if you can create an OS, you shouldn't be in his class.
karson: its not an OS, its a graphics kernell. actually, its not a kernell, its an OS that runs on windows. actually its not even an OS, its just an applet.

john: lets name the robot in binary
alex: So lets say we win nationals. the announcer will be "and the winning team is: team 151 from nashua new hampshire with Robot -"
john: 01010100010110010101001111001001010

john: lets name the robot "fatal exception."
erich: no, we're naming it "drop it like it's hot."
john: first is a place where i really don't want to see most of the people "drop it like it's hot."

random mech: how about safety first?
erich: thats the equivalent or "sucking up to the judges".

john: we're deciding whether to name the robot nullpointerexception or fatalexception.
victor: but our robot can't be thrown
john: sure we can, we can either do, this.throw() or walk onto the playing field and throw it manually.

victor demonstrates objectdock http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6xc_k9I0ss
taylor: is it free?
victor: i torrented it, so it was free.

john: I only torrent for e-books.
victor: I only torrent for programs. And music. And movies. And music videos.

victor laughs at some of the software fails
john: seriously victor, you only have two expressions: laughing hysterically, or being completely monotone. You need medical help.

campion: So you would get the arraylist size through super.size(). So you go to burger king and say super.size() me;
class: ha ha ha....

campion: If you get it wrong, I slap you in the face, if you get it right, you get a high-five

nathan: After you get it right, it makes sense.
jason: it should make sense before you get it right

sean: when mrs. bent gets in here, we should put andrew in the closet
campion: if that happens, you'll go in there with him.

john: why doesn't aviv talk to us anymore?
aviv: *silent*
batch: I think the question answers itself.
jason: How can a question answer itself? You suck.

john: why doesn't aviv talk to us anymore?
aviv: points at batch I am repulsed from this side of the room.

me: louise used 10 equations for her heart
jason: she would have 100 equations if she could, but the calculator only fit 10
john: I bet that the heart would burst if that happened.

jason: samita turns in her papers with $50 bills attached and begs on her knees for an A. She should get knee pads.

aviv: what do you mean it isn't defined? This thing is stupid.

john: well, why don't you go sneak into an alley and service it like a cheap copper-piece harlot?
andrew: . . . what the hell are you talking about?!
john: I think I may have just called you a whore. not sure.

mrs. bent: do you know how much a semester of a course costs?
campion: $30?
mrs. bent: $393

(after easy daily question)
campion checks sants answer
campion: you got it wrong
aviv: sant, just jump off a cliff

someone remotely controls campions computer
jason: un-plug your ethernet cable
aviv: john, shut down all other computers in the school except this one.

nathan: i'm pretty sure everyone here uses computers a lot
batch: nah, what's this computer you speak of? its pen and paper for me

nathan presents loading bars
batch: i suppose ill use that in all my programs to enhance user interface
aviv: yes, thread.sleep(1000);

sant: why doesn't double buffering work for AWT?
aviv: that's the default, go complain to sun.
batch: yeah, complain to yourself
jason: he meant sun as in java sun

aviv presents double buffering
campion: this is very important when you make video games and when you need to fall asleep at night

sant: i can't run my program on this computer because i have JDK 1.6.12 but you have JDK 1.5
john: just like last time?
glenn: I swear, he has gremlins in his computer

campion: andrew, louder. wait, i can't believe i just said that to him

batch: have i just been anti-RAMed?

pranil does presentation with sports players based on sports input
campion: who's paul pierce?
pranil: really? he plays basketball?
campion: that's not a real sport
pranil: how about babe ruth then?
campion: doesn't he do ballet?

zane: Its a new rick roll! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZcqV7pLC0A

batch: I had a nightmare last night: my computer downloaded vista onto itself.

aviv: The easiest way to become valedictorian is to assassinate the top 10. Just give them mono.

* = Essentially the CPU and RAM of the robot.
** = The IDE used to transfer code onto the robot's C-Rio.
*** = A speed controller for the motors
Code Fragments from Software Freshmen

Some Thoughts on "Genius"

2009-02-24T11:08:00.001-05:00

Genius is measured by IQ, or intelligence quotient. However, intelligence is more than how well you answer a few questions on a standardized test. Ever since the whole concept of IQ popped, a few counterparts have as well. These don't measure memory and cognitive thinking like IQ. Instead they measure more abstract forms of intelligence. The most prominent ones are emotional quotient and social quotient.

Emotional quotient measures the ability to identify and manage the emotions of one's self, others' and groups'. It doesn't measure your personality traits. Rather it assesses your ability to deal with environmental pressures and stresses. People with better EQ are typically more adaptable and efficient when dealing with stress or changes.

Social quotient measures certain aspects like communication, self-direction, and socialization. Essentially, it tests to see how well you interact with other people in getting ideas across, compromising etc. In my opinion, those that are talkative do not get a higher SQ than more self-reflective people on the basis of extroversion. In reality, the quieter person may be better at dealing with people better than the more talkative one. There more factors than a superficial first impression when measuring SQ. One with higher EQ may have higher SQ as well.

Winter Teen Conference Reflection

2009-02-17T21:33:00.000-05:00

Winter Teen Conference 09

The days leading up to TC had been some of the most stressful of my life. Each day, I stayed up past midnight finishing homework. The week was also loaded with quizzes, tests and the AMC 10. On top of this, I would have school on Tuesday. Therefore, I planned to do some homework on the bus ride up.

This plan really didn’t work out. Eventually, I just blew off homework and talked with the other guys nearby about random topics from freshmen year difficulties to track. This year, the conversations were more interesting and extended. We arrived at TC in a surprisingly short amount of time.

Getting Loon cabin was one of the highlights of TC. Yes, it had four private rooms. Yes, each room had a private bathroom. Yes, there was a foosball table in the basement. However, what I loved most about Loon was the intimacy and privacy of the late night discussions with the other members of my small group. Being able to sleep next to each other (no homo) and discuss pretty much anything was a very unique experience this TC. After settling, we went back to Deer Run for the first “session.”

After kicking serious @$$ at foosball, we went back up to listen to Enoch’s classic announcement of rules and enjoy some worship.

Worship at TC was alright, but the drummer wasn't as epic as last year's drummer. Having another year of drumming experience since last TC probably developed my ability to judge how the skill level of the drummer. Sadly, the equipment she had did not allow her to leave a strong impression either. Despite the drummers simplistic playing, she blended well with the team and helped to enhance the feel of the music.

Of course, I did not come to TC as a musical critic; I came to enter the presence of God. Worship is one of the easiest ways to do so. Led by an adult, the songs were a bit slower paced and included less of those loud Christian anthems like “One Way” and “Now That You’re Near”. For that reason, worship felt more deep and intimate. A majority of the songs were new to me, but easy to catch on. My favorite lyrics would probably be in God With Us by MercyMe, where Bart Miller sings,

"Such a tiny offering
Compared to Calvary;
Nevertheless,
We lay it at Your feet."

My only complaint of the team is the prepared repertoire of songs; the team often had to repeat the songs in the following worship sessions. Nevertheless, they still pulled off very good "performances".

The sessions were very deep, but, to me, they lacked the intensity of LYF retreat and previous years. This was primarily because I had been growing a lot with God recently. Some of the messages about giants, faith and accumulating sin had already made sense to me before the conference. The themes of the retreat were more encouragement and review than inspiration and revelation.

In retrospect, the first two messages seemed a bit shallow. They covered very elementary concepts: Relationship based on faith not sight and the snowball effect of sin.

Sunday morning’s message was about facing obstructions towards a full intimate relationship with God. Bill retold the classic story of David and Goliath. However, he looked deeper into the significance of having five stones rather than just one. He interpreted this number as a direct correlation with the number of giants involved, rather than an arbitrary choice of David. The additional four giants were pride, hypocrisy, gossip and a custom one, such as perfectionism, anger or sloth. His night message was about the importance the possible means of seeking God.

These two messages really stuck out to me. From about a month into school to New Years, I had been going through a lot of mood swings. Some days, such as the LYF retreat weekend, were times of euphoria and hope. Some days, I viewed my life as insignificant, purposeless and disposable. This was mainly because of the difficulty of learning material compared to that of freshmen year. Also, as a first year member of robotics and jazz band, I felt just like I had during freshmen year. Additionally, I didn’t have many close friends in my classes. Most were just acquaintances.

These mood swings happened largely because of my giants of perfectionism and guilt. All throughout, my life, I had set fairly high standards for achievement in and out of school. When I joined these new activities and enrolled in more difficult activities, I felt more pressured to work harder. I had also experienced lots of guilt from my work habits at Kumon (yes I’m that Asian). When it came to the harder problems, I often skipped them or just memorized the problem-solving process rather than critically thinking about it. I felt that I had taken the easy way out in graduating from Kumon.

This mix of perfectionism and guilt spread to almost all aspects of my life. I criticized everything I did, from playing drums and piano to doing homework to socializing. I viewed my advanced placement in classes as a complete fluke and a grossly inaccurate perception of my academic skill. Many of the social interactions I had with others felt awkward and strange.

The first month of winter track was a very depressing one. I had been doing cross country from the start of school in preparation for track. However, during the first week, I was even slower than some of my friends that sat on the couch during the pre-season. The coach also exerted a lot of pressure on me, telling some his varsity athletes that I would be a top-notch hurdler during winter. The first meet was a very discouraging one for me. In my eyes, I didn’t do well in my events and couldn’t three-step the hurdles. When my teammates told me I had ran an amazing leg for the 4x160, I felt myself whole-heartedly rejecting the compliment.

As time passed, God started to reveal himself to me. My mood swings occurred less and I started to accept who I was more. I regained my confidence in academics, track and other extra-curricular activities. I began to approach schoolwork with a better attitude: Instead of always feeling anxious and worried, I became more patient with myself when learning new things. God had restored my confidence. I also started opening up in my classes and developing friendships with upperclassmen.

Hearing the Sunday messages were very encouraging because I knew that God had been in control all along weakening these giants and making me more like him. Bill used very vivid and down-to-earth examples to illustrate his main points. As I said before, the messages themselves were more encouragement to continue to work hard at school and maintain my relationship with God.

Damon’s workshop on Tolerance and Intolerance was less helpful than I expected. It felt more like a play on the nuances of statements than a biblical approach of interaction with secular ideas. The most important thing I took out of was to tolerate people, not just their ideas.

Foosball was very fun as well. Andrew Chen and I won at least thirty games and lost only once. But as we beat more and more people, the inevitability of victory made the game feel monotonous and downright boring. I had become adept at passing, slant shooting and retaliation shooting. Playing offense became mentally exhausting after the first day.

Although the message was a very close second, the best part of TC was the starting of friendships with people from other churches and the development of friendships with those from CBCGL. The setup of Loon with the four private rooms and the passiveness of our counselor, Tim Lo, allowed for very deep and long discussions about a myriad of subjects, ranging from girls to communist propaganda to Christianity. Through these two to three hour long discussions, our small group really bonded and probably felt a lot more relaxed when it came to sharing during the formal small group time. Tim Lo also told us an engrossing and sobering story about why girls are evil on the last night.

The intentional meal mixers during the last three meals were also very nice because I got to know the freshmen from the other churches. In the past two years, I absolutely despised the meal-mixers. Whenever we didn’t have them, I would just sit with my friends. Because I was in a sense obliged to make relationships with older kids at school, I became a bit more extroverted and talkative at TC.

My accountability group with Andrew Chen, Tak Wong and Leeman Tran also strengthened. Andrew and I grew a lot closer from the late night discussions and foosball games. I wondered why we were unable to connect to each other for such a long time. On the last night, our accountability group had a good conversation about the events of TC. During church sharing, I noted how much all of the freshmen had grown spiritually. When we split into grades and genders to pray, I felt that there was a genuine and authentic connection with God. There wasn’t so much fluff about thanking God for bringing us to TC etc. We prayed deeply about maintaining our relationship with God and within our accountability group. We also touched upon Vincent and Leeman’s family lives.

Although this TC did not give me as much of a spiritual high as previous years, I felt that I had been able to be in God’s presence for those three days. I was able to fellowship with Christians from other churches and develop relationships within my own group of friends. This unification with people from other churches and the significance of the message made me melancholy that I wouldn’t be able to attend TC junior year. However, it filled me with an excitement for God and a passion to know him more.

Intelligence vs. Ethnicity

2009-02-08T21:31:00.000-05:00

For as long as I can remember, I've had a pet peeve of being called "smart" or "genius". Yes, I skipped three grades in math and one overall, yes I'm currently in two AP courses, yes as an 11 year old I scored a high enough SAT score to get me into a community college, yes as a 13 year old I scored over 2000 on the SAT, yes a month later I got a 109.5 on the AMC where a 110 was the cut-off for top 1% in the country, yes I was the top scorer in Nashua North on the AMC 10 because of this, yes I finished both Kumon Math and Reading programs, a feat achieved by less than 100 people internationally. However, the phrase "You're a genius" is very narrow and short sighted observation unless you know my IQ. It is an assumption based on an cursory and eccentric appearance of success. Let me go back to the roots of Asian-American history and the history of my own parents to explain why this is so.

_____________________________________________________________________________________
Despite what most people think, there were two waves of Chinese Immigration to America. The first was in 1849, due to the California gold rush, and the second was in the 1949, due to the Communist revolution in China. However, to fully understand what I'm going to say, you must understand the events leading up to the emigration of 1849.

China's history has always been separated in dynasties. In 1644, Manchurians toppled the Ming dynasty and started the Qing Dynasty. This group thought that they were superior to the Han, or the rulers of the Ming Dynasty. To humiliate them, they forced the men to wear long braided queues (your stereotypical old Chinese guy look). However, the most effective method of mass control was the imperial examination system.

Under this examination system, peasants could take tests to advance in social status. As such person climbed the ladder of success, competition grew more and more fierce. The best of the best were allowed to serve in the very top level of government. However, this was not totally fair because the Manchurian families could afford to pay for tutors for their children. Eventually conditions for peasants grew so bad under Manchurian rule that when the news of the Gold Rush got out, virtually all men of age rushed to the docks, getting on a ship prepared to sail to San Francisco. They hoped to get money to provide for their family back home and hire tutors for their children. Because of this, the need for high academic performance was instilled in Chinese children at a very young age.

Like most of the other gold miners, the Chinese found that they could get more money providing services for the miners than actually mining. During that time laundry was a very time consuming process. It would take literally 6 months to get clean laundry returned because clothes must be sent back to the other side of the country to be washed. Therefore, many of the Chinese formed Laudromats. Some of the men formed restaurants as well.

The phrase "chop suey" comes from Chinese food service to Caucasians. Minutes before the closing of a Chinese restaurant, a group of drunken Caucasians came in and demanded to be served immediately. In haste, the chef prepared a simple dish of leftover meats and vegetables. In Chinese, "chop suey" literally means chopped leftovers. This is also why my parents call San Francisco Kitchen “chop suey”; it is geared towards the tastes of Caucasians.

Despite what you may think, the Chinese created half of the transcontinental highway. Their employers were impressed by how efficiently they did the job. They worked at twice the speed of their Caucasian co-workers and because they rarely drank, they never experienced "blue Mondays". The Chinese were also very frugal. They rarely spent money even simple luxuries like soda (just an example, soda probably didn't exist at the time) and lived together in apartments. There were so many of them in a single room that they took turns sleeping.

Despite this veneer of relative success, the Chinese suffered extreme discrimination. During the economic recessions of 1870s, anti-Chinese feelings started growing. Because of their frugal lifestyle, they were able to stay financially independent. Eventually, the hatred escalated to point where the Chinese Exclusion Act of 1877 was passed. It wasn't until the 1940s that Chinese were allowed to legally immigrate. Of course, they figured out how to do so illegally up until that point.

Without going into the histories of the Sino-Japanese wars, the rise of Mao and TiananmenSquare (blank stares), I will just say that the next wave of Chinese immigration were the intellectuals of China, the scientists, mathematicians etc.

After Pearl Harbor and during the economic recessions of 1980s, Chinese were once again the victims of unjustified discrimination. Chinese scientists working in nuclear laboratories were suspected of being Japanese spies. In their bigotry, the heads of the weapon research groups fired some of the best and brightest scientists of the day. When General Motors was began mass layoffs of auto-workers in Detroit due to competition from Japan-based Toyota and Honda, the Chinese were blamed. A group of laid-off drunken workers killed a Chinese man they saw nearby, blaming him for their occupational reprieve. Though not as dramatic as the Japanese labor camps, Chinese faced much discrimination in both the 19th and 20th century.

It is because of this discrimination that many Chinese parents want their children to become either a doctor, engineer or lawyer. The first two are fields in which little communication with Caucasian co-workers is necessary to be competent. The third is based on the naive "if you're a lawyer, you will be able to rid anti-Chinese laws and prejudices" attitude.
_____________________________

My parents are considered part of the second wave, but they were born and raised in Vietnam. However, their families did not assimilate and they remained Chinese (VBCs... Vietnamese Born Chinese). My father was born in a family of eight. My grandfather saw my dad's desire to learn and enrolled him in a private French boarding school so that his wife would have one less mouth to feed. No doubt, this caused a lot of anger among his siblings. He has constantly given me advice, "If they don't like you, it’s because they're jealous of you." He is someone to truly understand that.

In Vietnam, a test must be taken to determine which colleges an individual is qualified for. It’s similar to the SAT, except that it was the only information that a college used to pick its students. Despite his boarding school education, my dad barely scored higher than the average 50%. Because of this, he was restricted from studying abroad.

Before the Communists took control over South Vietnam, my grandfather had bribed for three seats on a flight from Vietnam to America. They were planned for my father and his second and third oldest younger brothers. It just so happened that the flight happened in the middle of my father’s week of final exams. He decided to stay for a few more days in order finish his exam. His 3rd brother took his spot on the plane.

This was a life-changing decision. My grandfather found an illegal smuggling group that promised to bring his first son out safely for a small fee. However, this turned out to be a double-edged scam; money was thrown out the window and my father was put into a prison for three years. Eventually, he got to America under the request for family re-unification.

In America, my father's request to continue studies in a Masters program was rejected because he studied at an obscure Vietnam-based college. Therefore, he had to study as an undergrad in his early thirties. My mother had never learned English while in Vietnam and therefore had to take college courses and ESL concurrently. On top of this, their finances were crumbling, forcing them to work long hours at restaurants as waiters and waitresses.

Additionally, it took a while for my parents to have kids. In her mid-thirties, my mom gave birth and I somehow did not have Down's Syndrome. A Christian since her teens, my mother gave me the name, luh tin lok, meaning "The Lord's Promise". If you had noticed that the name of this blog was my name backwards, you should probably now notice that my middle name is the English transliteration of my Chinese name minus the family name.

Probably because she didn't want me to suffer from a language barrier and because she didn’t want me to have to re-learn information while I was in my late twenties like my father, my mom taught me a lot. Before I was five, I could write letters and numbers. When I was five, my parents enrolled me in Kumon, a type of "self-tutoring" that was based on the principle of repetition.

In first grade, I could add and subtract. By second grade, I could divide and multiply. When I was young, I used to spend a lot of time at one of my friends house, especially during school vacations and Jewish holidays (I went to a private Montessori school as a first and second grader). I would get there around 8 and do these Kumon worksheets before she woke up. When I was learning division, I was crying because I didn't understand how to do them. Even my friend’s mom disagreed with my mom on making me do these worksheets. My mom insisted that I continue doing them, knowing that the "pain" I suffered should be experienced when I was young, rather than when I was in high school, college or beyond.

So time went along. When I moved to New Hampshire in the middle of fifth grade, I skipped a grade because I already had the reading and mathematical skills necessary to advance. Additionally, the school district I was to attend would be too easy for me. As a sixth grader, I did algebra. As an eighth grader I was bused to the high-school to take Algebra II. Currently a sophomore I am in AP Calc and AP Comp sci.

So before you say, "You're a genius", look deeper

Take a look at the roots of a highly-academically competitive society.
Take a look at the difficulties the Chinese have had to assimilate with American culture simply because of their skin color and efficiency.
Take a look at how much undeserved racism the Chinese experienced during the recessions and the Japanese war.
Take a look at how this discrimination caused a withdrawal in math and science fields and glorified law.
Take a look at the extremes that the Chinese took to stay financially stable.
Take a look at how my Dad sacrificed 3 years of his life to get a college degree (even if he lost it again). Take a look at how he worked hard to ensure that he could get it back.
Take a look at how my mom went through a language barrier while studying in college.
Take a look at how my parents tried to keep me from suffering these hardships when I was older.

Before you say, "You're a genius", just say "You’re an above average Asian".

Funny thing is, I had a legitimate IQ test taken in 3rd grade. I got a 147.

P.S. I didn't research all about Chinese history for a blogpost. Iris Chang has written two books about Chinese history. One is about Chinese in America and the other is about the atrocities of the Sino-Japanese War. You’re Asian and you gave me blank stares when I mentioned Sino-Japanese War, Mao or Tiananmen Square, you are clearly white-washed and should read them before you embarrass yourself like so:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vdxVywetepM&NR=1